Jordan King Lacroix

Reclaim Australia adamant they’re not racists

UNITED PATRIOT RALLY MELBOURNE

 

The Reclaim Australia rally protestors, amidst all the pushing, just wanted to get their point across. They’re certainly not racists.

 

It occurred suddenly at the Melbourne “Reclaim Australia” rally, where banner-waving, slogan-shouting protestors were clashing with police and a whole movement of counter-protestors that the people of the Reclaim Australia “movement” realized that everyone around them might just think that they’re racists.

“I don’t understand how they could think that of us,” a swastika tattoo-laden man said, SS lightning bolts going up his neck and meeting in a big Third Reich eagle on the back of his shaved head.

“We’re a really inclusive movement, we have people from a lot of different backgrounds rallying with us against the onslaught of immigrants that are destroying the fabric of Australian society. I just don’t get how they think we’re racists!”

With appearances from an assortment of people with a surprisingly wide variety of backgrounds, and after properly thanking the traditional owners of the Australian land which these protestors are desperately trying to reclaim, the Reclaimers thought that their motives were very clear.

“We’re obviously not trying to Reclaim Australia from those traditional owners we thanked,” staggeringly racist person Martha Jennings said while waving a “Fuck Off We’re Full” flag fashioned into daywear, complimenting boldly with her “Ban the Burka” banner.

“Our ancestors took this land fair and square and we’re never giving it back. They’re joking if they think that’ll happen.”

Reclaimers said they want Australia “back” for “real, true blue Aussies”. When pressed about the definition on “real Aussies”, however, most Reclaimers just melted into a chant decrying Chinese investment in the country’s real estate.

Jordan King Lacroix

Jordan King-Lacroix was born in Montreal, Canada but moved to Sydney, Australia when he was 8 years old. He has achieved a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Sydney and McGill University, Canada, as well as a Masters of Creative Writing from the University of Sydney.

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