The act of using the work Internet for personal use, known as “cyberloafing”, seems harmless, but in the US it’s a massive problem. So what about here? Do you do it too? Vote below – confidentially of course!
I’m watching you do it. You think I don’t know about your dirty secret, but I do. Everyone does. You’re doing it right now, aren’t you? There you sit, eyes darting, shoulders obscuring the screen from the hawkish senses of your soulless buzzard of a superior. We know. “What’s the harm?”, your inner monologue calmly tells you, trying to convince the rest of your body that the following act won’t hurt anybody. “It’s a victimless crimeeeee,” that voice whispers. You nod, but you know it’s wrong. All you wanted to do is check that bae added her usual pet name at the end of a message, to see if she’s not still pissed that you had to change your plans, because, you know, work called you in on your day off, which will surely render you useless for date night.
Lips turned to smug indifference, thumb and index finger meet to cement this course of action, and the markets you’re supposed to be monitoring are momentarily shifted aside, as, for the slightest moment, the turbulent world of international finance is destructed by the push of a button, to bait the hook to see if she’ll push your buttons.
It was just a second of Facebook on the office dime, right? Well, the destruction of Alderaan also represents your disturbing lack of faith in the corporate system, because, logically, if you can get away with a fleeting second of popping the middle finger to the Internet policy guidelines, what is stopping you from drawing from the well of sweet-sweet Internet once again? Then what? The bucket?
A situation best represented by a scene from Sergio Leone’s Once Upon a Time in America:
See? Temptation becomes you. And yes, that scene was actually about the sanctity of childhood – eating the cupcake originally intended to barter with the neighbourhood teenage prostitute for sexual favours teaches us that we should not grow up too fast, because losing one’s cherry should be more important than losing your cherry. Sex. Focus on the cupcake. You ate the whole thing, because you couldn’t control yourself, could you?
Well, how about some figures, Scarecrow?
According to those people who measure such things, the Americans, the casual use of the internet whilst working, Cyberloafing (or e-slacking), as it is known, costs the US economy 85 billion dollarydoos on the regs. Moreover, those with the clipboard and the pleasant tones have found that the percentage of the day taken by cyberloafing is anywhere between 30-40%. But honestly, that’s in ‘Murica; surely, we inhabitants of the world’s greatest floating prison show more respect to our positions and the responsibility trusted to us, right?
Are we just like Johnny Utah in Point Break who wants nothing more but to surf on the American dime (no more movie references, FFS – Ed), or are we nothing like our distant cousins?