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While you were asleep: Bible funds SSM pissup, NZ’s big day, Breaking Bad re-cut


Approx Reading Time-11Monday. Why always you? What happened while you were asleep? Beer met the bible to discuss same-sex marriage, NZ shot back into relevance and Breaking Bad, “the movie”, debuted.




Brewery company funds same-sex marriage “debate”, opens door for brand new vertical.

Innocence is a beautiful, stained-glass window, constantly beset by house bricks, and the hoodies who hurl that masonry rep the gang called Reality, and only those who can see the light shimmering through the remaining shards are the best of us. So it went yesterday, when the lubricant of so many great anti-government rants, Coopers Brewery Inc., funded a political “bit” which discussed, of all things, same-sex marriage.

The duo of Federal MP’s Mr Tim Wilson (an openly gay agnostic) and Mr Andrew Hastie (a Christian conservative) were brought together by beer and the Bible Society of Australia. The piece, entitled “Keep it Light”, was part three in a joint production between the two interests to “to reach even more Australians with God’s word”.

Two points of contention. Religion is fine, as is beer, which some consider a religion, but a combination of both results in not nice things. Part two of this two-part question is, whilst light-.hearted the piece may be, with the participants loosely discussing the concept of loving thy neighbour and with lingering close-ups on the bevs, it seems a high level of awkies for such a production swimming in commercialism.

Photo: Bible Society Australia

Photo: Bible Society Australia

Not a bad thing; just a new one. New concepts seem to pinch slightly when you pop them on for the first time. With the apparent culture of entitlements permeating Canberra, some are suggesting we all go balls out and blur the line between commercial and politics. Why not? Who wouldn’t want to use the same brand engine coolant as their representative in the Senate? It’d spice Question Time up a smidge.

This point of order was brought to you by the agile and innovative engine doctor your car needs. Maltex, you’ve got our vote.


New Zealand shoots back into relevance, losing one icon and lauding another.

The land of the long white cloud precipitated a solemn shower as the nation bade farewell to one of their truest icons, the man who gave us the earthen but ever enamouring Footrot Flats. For those who missed out on the 90s or are fundamentally ignorant, Footrot Flats told the ills of farm life through the eyes of a clueless, but well-meaning Border Collie. Footrot Flats had a legacy it earned, both in being quintessentially Kiwi enough for us not to appropriate it, with the comic reaching peak New Zealand (like Aoraki peak) when the film version was soundtracked alongside other NZ demigod, Dave Dobbyn:

The creator, Murray Ball, passed away at 78, after a farmyard scrap with the horse of mortal conditions, Alzheimers. As sad as it may be, while he may have forgotten his work, none of us who leafed through his opus will.

Vale, Murray.

Elsewhere, the first pages of the next chapter in the dusty tome of New Zealand culture were being written by Lorde, who marked her return to the collective eye by artistically tearing up SNL, dancing like she cares not for the ideas of others, à la Kate Bush, which is always a virtue.

Welcome back Lorde, New Zealand forever etc.

Earlier in the evening actress and absolute biscuit Scarlett Johansson ripped into Ivanka Trump with a pseudo perfume ad that featured the tagline:”The fragrance for the woman who could stop all this, but won’t.” Yowza. Hot fire.

Johansson’s Ivanka strolled through a lavish black-tie affair as all heads turned to watch.

A voiceover introduced her: “She’s beautiful, she’s powerful, she’s complicit.”


Impatient nerd recuts entirety of Breaking Bad as a feature length movie, makes audiences sad.

“I am the person who ruins things,” the man with the editing scabbard may utter upon the slashed the face of art, shoehorning 62 episodes of well-paced, tortured brilliance into a two-hour-long feature-film-looking-thing. Those who are short on patience and long on judgement may think “good”, but to those people: nope. As the favourite show of many here at The Big Smoke towers, to see her reborn as this Frankenstein hurts our interiors.

The man whose hands are responsible has justified his work thusly as: “A study project that became an all-consuming passion. It’s not a fan-film, hitting the highlights of show in a home-made homage, but rather a re-imagining of the underlying concept itself, lending itself to full feature-length treatment. An alternative Breaking Bad, to be viewed with fresh eyes.”

Nobody wishes to dip to hurtful hyperbole, but that statement could have been the words uttered by a defendant in Nuremberg. There, I said it.


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