Sam Blacker

Life hacks for the dead: DIY alcoholic easter eggs

easter

Approx Reading Time-8Happy Easter! Our resident life coach/misanthrope has earnestly shared his sole recipe with us: alcoholic easter eggs. Might be a cry for help. Meh.

 

 

 

O, praise ye, Easter again. For those of you who have regaled Jesus’ triumph of rolling back the rock by taking years off your life and packing your pipes with toxic chocolate adhesive, you will know the shame feels the same as last year. Not because you’ve over-indulged, but rather because you gorged yourself to the point of utter self-loathing on so many previous occasions it feels stale. There’s nothing wrong with Easter, there’s something wrong with you. With your impulsive desire to fill the void with the quickest of hollow thrills, this year The Big Smoke contend you combine two of your loves, chocolate and booze, together at last.

After all, as Jesus said (citation needed), “¿Porque no los dos?”

Sam Blacker understands. But, don’t mistake that for an endorsement of your faults, or to enable a date. Seriously, don’t. As one of the middle children of history, he’ll be regularly releasing “life hacks” for those who have given up on life. Because he’s a sadist. And he’s stuck here in perpetuity for a crime he’s committed in a past life.

If you’d like to follow the abject insanity of this cretin, you can find him over on Facebook at www.facebook.com/samblackerpage/.

Sam Blacker

Sam Blacker is a radio jock at Wave FM Wollongong, but in his spare time will talk bollocks with a bit of swearing when he co-hosts the podcast Shut Up I’m Talking. Find him on Twitter @blackersam and check out the podcast at: www.shutupimtalkingpodcast.com.

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