Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Theresa May Brexit-proofed her reelection, we know what jobs can no longer be worked on the 457 and a Centrelink office caught fire in Frankston.
Hold onto your sporrans, and ancient distrust of the English, Scotland, because you’re irrelevant once more. After claiming that it was “not the right time” for the Scottish Referendum, it is seemingly the right time to talk about leadership in Theresa May’s Britain. The artist who should have been in line to play the next incarnation of the Doctor, after all, she was able to convince and entire nation* (*sort of) that they travelled back to 1953, fixing the Tardis of imperialism with the sonic screwdriver of suppressed racism. Overnight, the woman known only* as the Doctor (*also Theresa) appeared from stage left, informing the audience that they were in grave danger and they had to immediately follow her into a general election before the evil/woke Daleks down the wall and scream Brexterminate!
“We’ve delivered on mandate of referendum, government has the right plan” says PM announcing General Election
— Faisal Islam (@faisalislam) April 18, 2017
BREAK; Corbyn statement pic.twitter.com/LN1oDfTWeI
— Beth Rigby (@BethRigby) April 18, 2017
Mind you, if the election was held today, May would rocket back into re-election, with popular opinion at her back.
With the PM calling a general election for 8 June, here’s YouGov’s most recent voting intention
Con – 44%
Lab – 23%
LD – 12%
UKIP – 10% pic.twitter.com/t6v36qPSrn
— YouGov (@YouGov) April 18, 2017
See you on June 8, then.
Further 457 visa details known, 187 to existing holders.
Yesterday afternoon, Malcolm Turnbull announced that he would be gutting the 457 visa process in order to make jobs more accessible to everyday Australians. With the PM light on details, the Internet spent the rest of the night in speculation. As there are over 100,000 457 holders employed right now, it is set to be a very difficult time. They will be able to apply for the new working visa, but you’d imagine that not all of those applicants will be able to keep their jobs – if they were, the point of the scrap would be useless. It’d be just moving the entirety of that workforce onto a different visa. Different provisions, sure, but the same problems would exist.
With that in mind, the following list contains the jobs that can no longer be worked on a 457 visa.
Here’s 180 jobs that can no longer be worked on a 457 visa. pic.twitter.com/1Met1u9GS4
— Rob Harris (@rharris334) April 18, 2017
Centrelink office catches fire in Frankston, thousand pipe salute aired in respect.
I can pick on Centrelink folk, because for many years, I was one of them. I sat in that whitewashed room, with propaganda playing in an endless loop in the background, mornings spent watching the floor. With that in mind, you could imagine the combination of glee, rage and jealously that met the news that the dole office in Franga fuckin’ burnt down, brah.
Frankston DHS Centrelink and Medicare office is on fire pic.twitter.com/0885b8G6D1
— Asher Wolf (@Asher_Wolf) April 18, 2017
I’d imagine through the Chinese whispers of the exact details that the fire itself would have been praised. But after the fanciful theories of how they’d do it (and whether it can be considered plagiarism if someone stole your idea), it’s worthy to mention that no-one was hurt.
Ohhh hektik, lad.
The top five Tweets from overnight.
CNBC caption guy not leaving this one to chance pic.twitter.com/prgpIpCZqj
— Nick (@NickatFP) April 18, 2017
Here’s the White House Easter party with Mad World as the soundtrack
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) April 17, 2017
— Archillect (@archillect) April 18, 2017
— Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) April 18, 2017
— James Martin (@Pundamentalism) April 18, 2017