Well, fudge. Overnight we’ve had an elected official shot, comeuppance for crimes against photoshop and a burger going into space before any of us. Luckily our existence has no meaning.
Republican senator shot at baseball diamond, both survive to extra innings.
Two towering American past times clashed overnight, as taking aim (literally) at elected officials clashed with the baseball diamond, with Republican Senator Steve Scalise relocated to a Virginian hospital with gunshot wounds. Early reports state that Scalise is alive, as is the transgressor, both now under the palm of medical treatment. The flash (officially) is two wounded, and the rhetoric has extended its legs, with Rand Paul stating that “it would have been a massacre” if security forces were not present at the moment of the crunch.
— Sky News Australia (@SkyNewsAust) June 14, 2017
So, it seems that the American equation of more guns beating guns is the easiest sum to attach to this awful act. Although, from an outsider’s opinion here, if the public had less access to guns (CNN claimed it was a “large gauge rifle”), there’d be less of these incidents painted in viscera.
NBC News has confirmed Steve Scalise’s injuries are not life-threatening, @JoeNBC just reported.
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) June 14, 2017
Looking at The Sun sends readers blind come election day: poll.
Everyone remembers this front page, primarily because it was only last week’s. But also because it was hatchet journalism in the classic Whitechapel pomp, lampooned all the way to the grimy, pimpled hands of the metal scene.
Best metal festival line up ever pic.twitter.com/3INZSRurSr
— Elliot (@ChorltonMum) June 7, 2017
Sepultura, etc. Now, as it turns out, that particular piece of bent brilliance fell flat on election day, as an exit poll of readers of that particular publication revealed that only 28% of them voted the way photoshop told them to.
The Sun wanted their readers to vote against Jeremy Crobyn. They didn’t. https://t.co/JN840IPUoG
— The Independent (@Independent) June 14, 2017
Still, could be worse.
BORIS JOHNSON ASKED A FORTUNE TELLER FOR A PREDICTION AND THIS HAPPENED pic.twitter.com/u8oGKPSThm
— Alan White (@aljwhite) June 7, 2017
KFC launch Zinger into space, Galileo Galilee’s tombstone cries blood.
Space. The final frontier…for shithouse marketing ploys. Remember last year when that Austrian bloke bellyflopped into the stratosphere thanks to the awesome power of Red Bull? Didn’t it just make you dream, and dream, of a liver not punctured by the horns of taurine toro? Well, the other torturer of interior functions, KFC, have decided to enter this dick-measuring contest by putting a Zinger burger into space.
— Kenneth Chang (@kchangnyt) June 13, 2017
Moving aside from the lazy joke about the myriad drunks launched into space to pursue it (and regret it on re-entry), there’s a larger issue at hand. We did this. One of us. Our species. Somewhere there’s a vastly intelligent lifeform who is going to want answers, in why we choose to devote our genius to launching lunch into space.
I hope we have an answer ready. Also, is it too early to roll up a bucket of chicken? I want to be an astronaut.
The top five tweets from overnight:
I found a tweet to express my opinions without using my genios brain. thanks see ya https://t.co/4xWn4Xd7hp
— Lucy Valentine (@LucyXIV) June 14, 2017
Pauline…… just wait til they hear how much it costs to run the detention centres…… pic.twitter.com/QHB1feNaNm
— Josh Butler (@JoshButler) June 14, 2017
Here’s a picture of the police escort that Trump got to go golfing (again) this weekend.
Do you think they were trying to say something? pic.twitter.com/UGeVokhi7X
— Holly O’Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) June 14, 2017
“Do you remember having a meeting with the Russian Ambassador?” pic.twitter.com/2F5PuSt8vZ
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) June 13, 2017
Said this earlier but the idea that you’d bring in new fire safety regs and not apply them to existing buildings blows my fucking mind.
— Anthony B, (@swearyanthony) June 14, 2017