Pendlebury Wicks

Barnaby should trade in his political shtick for the pulpit

Barnaby Joyce’s recent performance on Insiders proved one thing. The government continues to state that renewables are an option, while their actions say otherwise. If they pray at the altar of coal, sing it loud.

 

 

 

It may be time for Barnaby Joyce to shirk his oversize ministerial robes for the more tailored ministerial robes. For those of you who missed the sermon that Rev Joyce gave, on the sabbath, yesterday on ABC’s Insiders, it was a vastly contradictory one. A message that was completely obtuse, and one that the parishioners saw right through. The deacon (with the pallor of a red beacon) strode the top step, and claimed that his god, coal, did not exist; in fact, he wanted to believe, but had no evidence that it did. His flock would be remaining agnostic. Cue muffled giggles from the collective Sunday massive. We stifled laughter, because Barnaby’s church has a coke oven that powers the soup kitchen.

However, the Rev went on, offering us a true fire and brimstone effort, scaring the community into adherence, promising of judgement day, whereupon those who ignored the teachings of the lord would be banished into the dark place.

A place of no television.

I feel Barnaby’s Church of Reality needs a pillar of salt constructed by Doctor Phil. By this point, we all know what the emperor’s Johnson looks like. The Coalition’s continued rhetoric that it would cherrypick the tenets of many teachers and form their own energy cult, a new energy for the new age, is borderline Jonestown flow. Nevertheless, Malcolm Turnbull, as evidenced by his trip to the Maranoa electorate in March proved that he’s committed to this facade, underlining verses from the book of job(s).

Therefore, adding the prefix “agnostic” to every energy discussion is coming off as the Coalition crossing themselves before uttering the name of the devil.  My child, say your prayers, or a wind turbine shall get thee.

I have no problem with the pursuit of either. Renewable/fossil, there’s a case for either, or both – whatever. What I do have a problem with is outright lies, because it makes me feel stupid. Guys, if you’re not going to consider RET, stop saying it. You’re fossil fuel fundamentalists. Admit it. And that’s fine. But the sleight of hand doesn’t work if we already know the money was never behind our ear in the first place. It’s not like you’re keeping the vote of a subsection of those on the fence, people who will vote for the Coalition if this balance is kept. You’ve already burnt that bridge with Australia’s Biggest Mine(TM), and I’m unsure who they still believe is accepting the teachings of Turnbull’s RET Genesis.

Stop.

Let’s just flick the pages over to the new testament and allow Barnaby to practice openly. To dirty his knees in servitude of his fossilised deity. To bring his religious accoutrements into the workplace without criticism. Those who have a problem with it will bring burning pitchforks to the polling booths when the opportunity arises, yea as it should be.

Amen.

 

Pendlebury Wicks

Pendlebury Wicks is a country boy with a penchant for movies and sport. After a few years working in health, he decided he'd rather work with today's youth and studied arts and education in rural NSW. His main interests are religion, health and lairy shirts.

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