The Science Post

World Health Organisation classifies David Avocado Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’

The World Health Organisation has acted against noted internet character David Avocado Wolfe, claiming that listening to his advice may increase your chances of getting cancer.

 

GENEVA – The World Health Organization (WHO) has officially classified David “Avocado” Wolfe as ‘probably carcinogenic’. Wolfe joins the growing list which recently added red meat and being a hairdresser to the long list of chemicals, foods and jobs.

“We feel the more people are exposed to Mr. Wolfe and his crazy ideas (especially about curing cancer) the more likely they are to make bad health decisions which may if fact increases their chances of dying from cancer,” explained Dr. Roy West of the WHO and IARC. “We advise everyone that if you feel the need to listen to the “Avocado” for whatever reason, that you do so sparingly.”

David Wolfe issued a statement on his Facebook page saying:

The WHO and IARC have no idea what they are doing. I am all above love, health and avocados. I would never hurt anyone. The chocolate sun rays of peace and chakra alignment are radiating at the same frequency as your inner spirit. Namaste.

Fair enough.

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