Andrew Wicks

Double disillusionment: Auspol’s great dividing range of stupidity

According to the PM, the disillusionment the public feels in the political system has not increased. Well, Malcolm, a lot of us have already had enough of the constant hijinks.



Last night, the Prime Minister appeared on The Project to remind us of two talking points. 1) That we should support his plebiscite and B) That the Geiger counter that measures our nuclear disillusionment with Canberra has not moved, and everything is cool.

Well, bipartisanship is in the air, sweeping under the door of the house, scattering the papers of parliamentary trust upon the floor. But not in any way that would be beneficial, lord no. This wind blows a gale, as the collective populace has realised an awful truth. This lot are embarrassingly bad. There’s certainly something massive afoot after George Brandis played against type, giving us his own take on the famous ‘can you dig it’ speech from The Warriors, exhibiting that he, in fact, did not dig it. Since then we’ve had Bob Katter going to war over a three letter word, and our ex-PM had too much of a four letter word to do his job.

I’m thinking of another to describe the state of politics in this country. It makes me, and many like me, wondering how we got this far. While politics is supposed to be a mirror, ours is a smashed facade. We’re shirtlessly gazing into it, held up by the grimiest wall of our tumbledown rented apartment, asking: You speaking for me?


The long standing Australian tradition of the assumed bastardry of politicians has changed. Once they were sentences fired in mirth, halfway between necking the remainder of your beverage to underpin your point, but this modern day take on a national heirloom is something else. There’s a division, sans mirth, minus bevs, shoulders shrugged, eyebrows lowered, wondering what the fuck are you doing?


The expanse of the fuckery is so vast, we’re unsure how to articulate it. We weren’t ready for this level of bad. So, we yell words we don’t understand, and shoehorn references that don’t exactly fit. Orwellian, Machiavellian, Authoritarian, etc.


New lows have merely been supplanted by lower lows. The mark on the flood sign to be bested next downpour. In the last month alone, we’ve had the admission that ‘stop the fags’ is an acceptable part of the marriage equality debate, Malcolm Roberts and his Section 44 besties wasting the time of the court, be it High, Public or Kangaroo; Lyle Shelton hurling abuse at the machinations of sentient rainbow flags; the demigods of the logical left The Greens decided to enact marshal law in their own office; Dutton wanting to turf 100 refugees from Manus out on the streets; The Coalition drug testing the unemployed instead of creating more jobs, an act that the PM himself claims that ‘might not actually work’, and we’ve had Julie Bishop’s Alex Joneseque conspiracy plot claiming that New Zealand was the source of Barnaby Joyce’s sudden kiwiness. I’m not saying it was aliens Mr Speaker, but it was aliens. 

I mean, pick your poison. Jesus.

The expanse of the fuckery is so vast, we’re unsure how to articulate it. It’s the same problem in the United States. We weren’t ready for this level of bad. So, we yell words we don’t understand, and references that don’t exactly fit. Orwellian, Machiavellian, Authoritarian, etc. The word ‘Nazi’ is now just a catch-all catchphrase. It, for want of a better term, is a complete shitshow; where the laughing rhesus monkeys on the both sides hang from the roof, flinging faeces at the electorate. The circus has taken up permanent residency.

I think we give ourselves a pass because Donald Trump exists, so, therefore, our crimes are pithy by comparison. But we should be aware that we’re a mere race riot and/or fistful of genitalia away from the Australian remake. The root causes are identical: a canyon between left and right, a lack of trust in the system. DJT is just the Supersized version of Auspol. And while we’re not eating the Trump family bucket, our tray has far too much junk politics for one person to eat.

Empathy and logic has left the building. Both sides are guilty of it. The pattern now seems obvious. With this pointless majority, everyone is waiting for Godot, and will trade pithy aphorisms until then. The Coalition loses the Newspoll, Mal wins preferred PM. Rinse, repeat. I’ve written that same sentence for the last ten months, and now everything hurts. Jon Kudelka, notable cartoonist at The Australian raised this point on Twitter:


This massed avarice will likely manifest in some form, and while I don’t believe it will garner us our own Trump, I believe an abandonment of the process will be more likely. In the close 2016 election, the number of informal votes was telling; but gaze back at that election for a mo. It was an election of hope, on both sides. The Coalition supporters backed this new Coalition, and this new Mal, whereas the left backed the ALP to hopefully topple them. I don’t see the same possibilities. Next time ’round, I’m absolutely certain that we can’t maintain this level of legitimate anger until 2019, I’m predicting we all shift over into apathy.

Therefore I’m expecting a kong level of donkey voting next democracy sausage day.



Andrew Wicks

Andrew Wicks is a country boy with a penchant for movies and sport. After a few years working in health, he decided he'd rather work with today's youth and studied arts and education in rural NSW. His main interests are religion, health and lairy shirts.