TBS Newsdesk

While you were asleep: Trump’s immigration policy backfire, Marseille acid attack postmortem, Dreyfuss heckles dreyfuss

‘Tis Monday. The day of things you have to do that you don’t want to. Well, it could be worse, Donald Trump could be immortalised by the skills of William Shatner, or your famous dad could shame you on Twitter. 

 

Trump’s new policy inadvertently opens the door for immigrant workforce to roll across the border.

The Trump is an artist of many bows. He paints in the medium of oil on fire, carves great statues of bronzed hyperbole, and generally produces works of art that the public doesn’t ‘get’, so you know it’s good. However, and in the name of artistic improvement, his urban slam haiku hybrid needs a page one rewrite.

 

Cool, Daddy-o? Now, poetry is a very subjective medium, but with his prose caught midway between reality and fantasy, something more meaningful is revealed: the career re-re-birth of Canadian dolt William Shatner. Surely, in the biopic to come in years to come, he’d be the primary choice. He can just bring gravitas to his words, you know?

That or we could get George Lopez, the Mexican William Shatner. Choose one, Donald.

 

Without an underlying point to the Marseille acid attack, the Internet fills in the gaps.

We stand at an odd street corner of reality in 2017, where the most vicious acts that one of us could do to another are immediately marked in by the darkest crayon we possess. This is especially true if we’re unsure what the picture we’re colouring in isAs it goes in Marseille this morning, as four tourists were attacked with acid hurled by what is believed to be a French national, 41 years of age, but due to French custom, the rest of the story was not released to the media.

Now, without an edict to enable the attack, some on the internet decided to fill in the gaps, with noted alt-righter Jack Posobiec squarely laying the blame at the doors of the British Broadcasting Corporation.

 

Which makes all of the sense. However, abject insanity aside, and in the face of acid in the face, it behooves us to blame the right people, or indeed question the mental wellbeing, and indeed the steps she took that lead her to the footsteps of the Gare de Marseille-Saint-Charles station. To articulate the issue at large, and not react with our knees, and furious keyboarding fingers.

For an example of this reactionary thinking, have a quick gander at the comments in the Sky News tweet below. Thanks, Internet!

 

 

Richard Dreyfuss slanders son on Twitter, passes as entertainment.

Everyone knows Richard Dreyfuss. He was the bespeckled ocean going (and in the book, Mrs Brody doing) nerd in Jaws. He was uh…also the narrator that bookended Stand By Me, which, if we remember was a movie about child abuse (and a young Kiefer abusing my heterosexual assumptions), consider that a lazy segue into this newsly tidbit that will be forgotten soon after you finish reading it. You know, because we’re all just a mere unheralded murmur in the long timeline of our species, and the even longer existence of the universe, one that will continue to roll on as everything we treasure, including ourselves, turns to dust and not caring that we existed in the first place.

But Richard Dreyfuss, check it, dropped hot internet fire into the lap of his progeny overnight not over familial dinner tables, but rather in the public forum, with a Tweet that represents the internet equivalent of watching a kid get slapped at Woolworths.

We looked, but only because we wanted to look away.

 

 

Oof. Allow me to dust off the ‘100’ emoji in meaningful support.

 

 

The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight

 

 

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