Fake News

How Malcolm turned into old king coal, and we don’t have the energy to fight it

While the ongoing energy issue rolls on, leaving us in the dark, we should know that parties on all sides are powering our disgust.

 

 

To the Editor

c/o – Fake News Department

 

Dear Sir,

I know you must be sick to death of people complaining about politicians but surely it’s not unreasonable to expect they should at least be able to keep the lights on.

If it wasn’t for taxpayers like me paying the bills there would be no chance the politicians would be able to keep the lights on even in Parliament House.

All we get from politicians is a load of codswallop about CER, RET and CET when they should get serious about the potential for us to import carbon-free nuclear energy from North Korea on an ICBM.

Malcolm seems to be in the process of changing from Mr Clean to Old King Coal. All he has to do to bring down electricity prices is install a circuit breaker in every home programmed to misinform suppliers that all electricity usage is between 2am and 4am.

The Greens seem wholly unconcerned about the potential of their renewable energy policies to cause either mass hypothermia or heatstroke. In their case it’s difficult to tell whether the light’s on but nobody’s home or everybody’s at home but no-one’s seeing the light.

Blackout Bill seems determined to return the country to the Dark Ages. There’s daylight between him and Paul Keating.

We’re all deeply indebted to the South Australian Government for demonstrating the sort of mess the country could get into if the main outcome of climate change is actually no sun or wind.

I’m fed up with waiting for Malcolm to get sufficiently turned on to have a lightbulb moment, Blackout Bill seems committed to staying on the Dark Side and the Greens seem dedicated to the belief that future home comforts for Australians will derive from rubbing two sticks together.

I’m aiming to get light years ahead of politicians by digging a DIY coalmine in my back garden and doing a bit of fracking on the side.

Anyone wishing to learn more about how to proof themselves against political policies on climate change should go to herbweed.coal.au and read my latest posting entitled “How to afford electricity in the age of powerless politicians”.

 

Yours warmly and coldly,

Herb Weed

 

Herb Weed spends most of his time dodging sprays of Round-Up. He spends the rest either in Centrelink or on street corners begging for money to pay his electricity bills.

 

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