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One sydneysider’s hungover reaction after being taken for a ride by the Melbourne Cup

Despite my best efforts, enjoying the Melbourne Cup in the proper spirit was a bit of a challenge. Truth is, it’s not that easy for a Sydneysider.

 

 

Look I really tried to get into the true spirit of the Melbourne Cup again yesterday but despite getting suitably paralytic and impoverished, it somehow still failed to materialise.

The truth is it’s not that easy for a Sydneysider.

I arrived at the office party just after mid-day, got stuck into the champers, bought tickets in all the sweeps, was suitably circumspect in flirting with the girls, got absolutely hammered by 2.30, was engaged in men’s room for most of the race, think I possibly won five dollars in one of the sweeps, but not sure and went home to bed at four.

I’ve reached the conclusion that the Melbourne Cup is essentially a Melbourne thing. In Sydney, it’s more of a race to the pub.

 

The Melbourne Cup is primarily the race that stops a nation only to start it gambling and drinking excessively. What is now desperately needed in Australia is a race that stops the gambling and drinking and restarts the nation.

 

It’s apparent nothing excites upwardly mobile socialites from Toorak more than the chance of race-day bubbly with Eddie McGuire in the Birdcage. Socialites from Sydney, on the other hand, would be highly motivated by the prospect of chucking in some birdseed and knocking him off his perch.

I’ve tried suiting up to go and watch the Melbourne Cup on the big screen at Randwick but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it could be a test run of a future race meeting format designed to save a motza on track maintenance.

By the way, it’s only fair to acknowledge that the Melbourne Cup is the only leading fashion show in the world where more models are treated for hypothermia than anorexia.

The winner of the Cup rarely has any impact politically, but Coalition members have been very quick to point out that Rekindling is just what Malcolm needed. A Labor Party spokesperson has claimed however that Malcolm’s rekindling is at much longer odds even than the other one.

The Melbourne Cup is primarily the race that stops a nation only to start it gambling and drinking excessively. What is now desperately needed in Australia is a race that stops the gambling and drinking and restarts the nation.

I think next year I might give the Melbourne Cup one last try. It’s time to make a concerted effort to break into the Birdcage and hobnob with Eddie. And who knows there might be the chance of a bird-bath with Jennifer Hawkins.

Or on the other hand, I suppose I could just wait and see whether the Melbourne Cup can aspire to the same heights as the Everest in Sydney.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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