TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: Cons drop SSM marriage bill, Mal’s lowest low, citizen negs ambulance

Oh, Monday. Overnight, we’ve had the far-right put forward their same-sex marriage bill, Malcolm crashing through the floor and an ambulance painted in passive-aggressiveness.



Conservatives table same-sex marriage bill, whitewashes over existing anti-discrimination laws.

Good news on the continued institutional discrimination front this morning, as Coalition MP James Paterson has put forward a bill that looks to sail over what has come before. Per The Australian, the sex marriage bill would override state and territory anti-discrimination and freedom-of-speech laws, extending protections to anyone who believes in traditional marriage, allowing them to not note anything but traditional marraige.



The Australian also reports that the bill also ­includes a clause to confer rights to parents who want to remove their children from classes if they believe the curriculum steps outside the traditional view of marriage.

So, simply put, what we have here is a failure to connect. Ostensibly, the bill will enable the continuation of the existing discrimination if marriage equality was to become a reality. The genius of it, is that this battle will be fought on an individual basis, so, you don’t have to accept the result of the vote if you don’t agree with it. What it essentially is, is offering a protection to those who believe in traditional marriage. This is especially the case if you happen to run, or happen to profit from anything regarding a same-sex marriage, with the protections encompassing most services of the wedding industry. Simply put, consider it state-enabled discrimination. They can get married, but only if they find someone willing to do it. It’s a slippery slope.

From here, it is now a question of leadership, and the challenge that walks from it, as again the conservatives will battle the rest, and yadda yadda yadda, again the issue becomes opaque, can’t we just have a proper vote without all this bullshit already? Whichever way it goes, we’d accept it, if it was final. Just make it real. Enough with this periphery pecking.



Malcolm slips to lowest point in polls as we start thinking about other people in bed.

When something beautiful loses its appeal, you tend to turn away from it, tend to avoid eye contact at the breakfast table. In fact, you wait for them to go to work before you eat, or shower while they digest it. It’s just easier. You can’t look them in the face anymore because that face has changed, representing someone you know longer know. Their features have grown hard, their vivid emotions, concrete, as you’d do anything to bring back your person to you. The one you chose, but bitterly, that frown that once concerned you has now become the default. Why don’t you smile anymore, Malcolm? you wonder, as knife scrapes burnt toast, and limp kiss barely meets the border of your cheek. Have a good day, see you tonight. 



Baby, baby. Where did our love go?



Plague of a person goes viral as they paint an ambulance in passive-aggressive yellow

For those of us who are unfortunate enough to live in a community, we’re well aware that some people are fundamentally not nice people. Not in any overt way (except for some), but more in a subtle middle finger toward the general constructs of moral decency the rest of us attempt to achieve. A fantastic example of this awfulness revealed itself in the UK overnight, as one passive-aggressive note found its way to the windscreen of an ambulance, which illustrated the importance of a vacant driveway over the continuation of the life of another.



If there happens to be a hell, one can only hope that the author of this note will be sentenced to drive around the block for infinity, only to find an ambulance parked in all of his infinite driveways, whilst being pricked in the testicles by thousandfold minuscule pitchfork brandishing demons, while Hitler, Stalin and Mussolini all childishly vie for the title of backseat driver. Joseph keeps elbowing mein shoulder. Benito ate my schulranzen.



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