TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: Oz discovers new fossil, P.Diddy tops charts sans music, latest meme craze drops

Friday morning, you are beautiful. Overnight we saw forgotten history remembered, P.Diddy’s unprecedented precipitation and the latest meme trend we’re sick of already.

 

 

Australia welcomes esoteric fossil to the conversation. Note: Not Bob Katter.

Welcome to the latest of our genetic relationship to our ancient past, a fossil that proves that we’re all just momentarily leasing this land. Hold on to your monocles, Australia, because it’s time to meet the Wakaleo Schouteni, the fifth recorded species of dog-shaped marsupial lion. I’ll admit it’s a niche market, but for a nation that embraces the subtle differences in micro-breweries, I say, why not?

Welcome to the family, weirdo pants.

 

P. Diddy rakes in the highest earnings of the year, without releasing any new music.

The way I see it, there are two types of wealth. One you have to kill yourself over accruing, and the one that accrues itself on your behalf. According to advertisements that appetise Youtube covers, it’s usually the former that enables the latter, and that’s why there’s a bookshelf in the garage next to an Italian hypercar. Skip ad. Anyway, in a year of many musical acts, the artist who stacked the fattest stacks, or added the most cheddar to their biscuit was a man who decided to not release any music.

No! My life! The doctor said I wasn’t allowed to get any existentialism in it.

 

Yes. Apparently, the man with the numerous soubriquets, Piddy, has raked in the dough, presumably, because he’s a bad boy for life. Can you monetise that? With $130 million in the bank in the calendar year alone, it’s fair to assume that he ain’t, uh, go-ing, no-where, uh-uh, he ain’t, go no-where, and so forth blah blah blah blah, hit a golf ball off a roof.

Yo, Master Didds. I’ve got an outstanding power bill. Hook a bro up? I’m sorry I said ‘bro’. Please help me.

 

‘Yeah sex is cool but…’ meme makes itself comfortable in our beds, refuses to take the hint.

When something meme-worthy trends online, it is forever. Like the Michelangelo’s David. Or the David’s herpes. While my generation has not lived through the horror of making sense of a much-loved head of state’s assassination, and indeed the postscript that asks you to immediate geolocate yourself when you reference it, we do have the jealous girlfriend meme. I’m willing to wager that is as grating as it was mindblowing.

Alongside those fired shots of mirth from a barely elevated platform comes the next round of memes chambered. The ‘Yeah sex is cool’ is the next pursuit you’ll be chased, and pursued by. Is it funny? Immediately no. But that’s not what we’re here for. Right?

 

 

Blergh. I’m over it already.

 

 

The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight

 

Top