TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: NY bomber sledges Trump, The Last Jedi hits, Dad dies inside over cat

Well, good morning. Overnight we’ve had the NY bomber dangerously approach being likeable, the first positive reviews of ‘The Last Jedi’, and another family suffered shame over a cat.



New York almost bomber kicks off social media push by sledging Trump.

Akayed Ullah, the man made famous by his explosives that didn’t explode that well in New York yesterday, is dangerously close to becoming internet-famous, or worse, a Trump administration staffer. Late last night, Akayed revealed that he chose the spot to detonate his pipebomb because of the Christmas decorations, and early this morning, he took to Facebook to sledge Donald Trump, stating that he “…failed to protect your nation,” presumably from people like himself.



The most seriously injured in the attack was Akayed himself, which would make him a prime candidate to join the White House staff, as his mode of awful explosive outbursts he somehow survives, and then proceeds to troll about it will certainly fit the prevailing culture.




‘The Last Jedi’ turns up, brings hype, disappointed fanbase yet to be shown.

Happy International next Star Wars instalment day, a day we’ll be celebrating every Christmas until the end of time, which gives me a feeling that parallels the immortal words of Meatloaf:

“So now I’m praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don’t think that I can really survive.”

The Last Jedi is upon us, where all the cynical creatures in the galaxy (and I live with two of them) hopefully group to be extremely disappointed because the latest movie is nowhere as good as the one from their youth, the one from many (that’s no) moon(s) ago. But still, they make the pilgrimage to be let down.

Anyway, with the moving picture set to hit our screens, the last thing we desire is spoilers, but what we covet is a force poke toward the cinema door. Well, apparently it’s rather good.


Ha. You’re going to be let down again. Womp womp.


Daughter asks Dad for cat, Dad dies inside.

Parenting, as most of us discover at some point, is an act of literally feeding your mistakes, as they walk all over your best of intentions, or indeed, decisions made in a vacuum when you were completely clueless as what the best path was to take. One Dad probably came to this conclusion independently when his daughter asked for a cat, repeatedly.

Look at his face.

Hello darkness…



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