TBS Newsbot

Sex robots could make men obsolete: Harvard

One Harvard mathematician believes that the sex robots of the future could replace the men of today. And you know what? We say bring it on.



Sex! Now that I’ve got your attention, you won’t be having any. According to Dr Cathy O’Neil, Harvard Mathematician, the unstoppable march of robot technology will stop past your bedroom on route to world domination. O’Neil believes that women (and other men for that note) in the future will opt for men-bots, those who possess a Barry White level programming of sexual know-how over the fleshy windbags of today.

In conversation with Bloomberg, O’Neil said “I think it’s the men who should be worried. It’s entirely possible that robots can outperform them…in the #MeToo age, I feel like raising standards is quite reasonable. It’s called for, in fact.”

Looking toward the future, the good doctor believes that “…we’ll come together, online or in person, and be more respectful, more relaxed, less edgy. It’s worth a try. So bring on the sex robots.”

And you know what? She’s right. Save for the act of making love with someone you actually do, the physical act of love is often a dancefloor of broken glass, early morning apologies and unwelcome windsocks. Allow me to reflect my own ineptitude and make a rash generalisation. Sex, or the chances of sex, sort of short-circuits our minds. The sensible act reckless, the nice act like dicks, we all think with ours. You know what, freeing us of the friction that the lizard part of our brain covets might be an absolute plus. We could finish our bookshelves, Fallout 4, or you know, do stuff beyond the usual riposte of hopeful dancefloor shuffling, or endless evenings spent gesturing right with our thumbs.



Let’s be honest, lads. Whether we want to admit it (or not) performance is often an issue. And that’s our normal. When finding yourself walking new streets, you’re not exactly sure where the landmarks are located. Sure, it looks like the neighbourhoods you’ve found yourself in over the expanse of your life, but you still often get lost, and we seldom ask for directions. Hence, problems abound.

Which runs contrary to what is yet to come. The future, make no mistake, will be an exercise in self-indulgement. I feel we need to strip back the feelings of hurt, and address the concept of the orgasm as sex-bots do – as a binary concept. You can either choose to have one, or not. That choice becomes a zero-sum equation.

As for feelings (or erections) trampled on by a robotic boot forever, the hypothesis is simple. If love is not in the equation, then it’s a function. And a function has no purpose beyond its action.

So, if a robot knows how to correctly punch in the sequence on command, why the fudge not?