Oh dear, it’s that day again. Happy Valentine’s to the desperate, commiserations to those who invested in Bitcoin and a cheerio to Kristina. I’m going back to bed.
Valentine’s Day arrives with its usual combination of saccharine disgust.
Love is in the air, and it’s used for selling cards. Yes, it’s finally here. That one day a year when everyone’s relationship is momentarily called into question, as every sacrifice, progress and immortal moment you’ve both lived in the past twelve months rots away in place of an elbow in the ribs, and a jovial, yet very much serious claim of: ha ha, why don’t you do that for me?
Now, for those who have no-one today, and know it’s a stupid Hallmark holiday, but still hope to find someone to collectively register your resistance to it, there is still hope. Because love, despite it’s elusive difficultly exists.
Look. Even ships are doing it.
British warship to sail from Australia to South China Sea https://t.co/K1hURJr7Yn
— Bella flokarti (@BellaFlokarti) February 13, 2018
Time to lower your standards, bruh.
Bitcoin toolboxes prepare to have the jam removed from their donut.
Good news! The cresting hubris of the bitcoin crowd is quickly becoming a) ruined and b) something we can afford to participate in. According to Bloomberg, the Monopoly money (which, let’s not forget was originally invented as a currency substitute for places where the local economy was crippled by superduper inflation, lol) could drop as low as $900 if the previous nonsense boom, dotcom, could serve as a guide.
— TicToc by Bloomberg (@tictoc) February 13, 2018
Honestly, we should be excited, not only because that annoying douchebag you knew from school who fancied himself a bitcoin maven is now losing all their money, but because we regular mortals can now join their number. I mean, I might have to wait until it costs less than $900 for a singular slice of air that has to power to simultaneously buy an oxford shirt, and loosen the underwear of all an sundry.
Keneally exhibits the dangers of hyperbole and tweeting.
Bless you, Kristina Keneally. This morning, the member of Lazarus presented the groveling populace a very important public safety message, warning of the dangers of speeding hyperbole. Now kids, making sweeping assumptions and historically esoteric references to cut down your opponent seems harmless, like a bit of a joke, because everyone laughs and that, but what happens when it all goes wrong?
Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. Traditionally, us Catholics ‘sacrifice’ something for Lent.
There’s a fair few Catholics in the National Party. They’ve got a lot to think about today.
— Kristina Keneally (@KKeneally) February 13, 2018
That’s right, you drive straight into a telephone pole of nonsense, and then you look like a fool. Sadly, Kristina has forgotten to pump her brakes on her admonishment of Barnaby, and she had a bit of an accident as a result. Don’t avert your gaze, kids. Look at it. Looookkk at itttttt.
The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight
Now, what shall I do today? pic.twitter.com/4VHMTukNwD
— Stilgherrian (@stilgherrian) February 13, 2018
the entire point of group dms is to spell things out one letter at a time pic.twitter.com/SKElPRUCHA
— adam (@burgerkrang) February 13, 2018
— j.r. hennessy (@jrhennessy) February 12, 2018
When you realize it’s just a guy in a costume 😦 pic.twitter.com/crc4EgbqJm
— MiLB.com (@MiLB) February 13, 2018
I’m just a bit worried that if Barnaby Joyce keeps going like this, he’s going to wind up the next US president.
— John Johnsonson (@JohnJohnsonson) February 12, 2018