Friday. I like when I wake up next to you. Overnight, the FBI fielded accusations by a hurt populace, one mother made divorce tacky and Cape Town rung in Doomsday with an (un)friendly face.
Reports believe that FBI were warned about Nikolas Cruz before yesterday’s school shooting.
Yesterday was one of extreme violence (and hyperbole) in the United States. However, the day after and the focus has typically shuffled on to who to blame. This morning, news emerged that the FBI were warned about the shooter, Nikolas Cruz, by ways of a questionable Youtube comment which blatantly said “I’m going to be a professional school shooter”
Article says “FBI can’t confirm” or won’t! https://t.co/TSIqY0GgY1
— Sarah McNamara (@lovetocook12345) February 15, 2018
Pump your brakes here kiddies. Yes, that particular comment has not aged well, mortally so, but considering the amount of “possible” suspects the Feeb gets everyday, it would be difficult to take a solitary YT comment as gospel, or at least true enough to kick down a door. You could suppose that they can’t be everywhere. There is a paranoia addled alternate thought here, in that the government is paying attention to your moronic hot takes in comment boxes across the nation. Those poor intelligence agents.
“In September, a YouTube user named Nikolas Cruz left a comment on a video stating, ‘I’m going to be a professional school shooter.'”
Both the FBI and YouTube were warned.
“The Nikolas Cruz YouTube account remained active until Wednesday evening.”
Fucking bravo YouTube.
— Stefan Molyneux (@StefanMolyneux) February 15, 2018
Mum presents daughter with symbol of a broken marriage – a tacky necklace.
The breakdown of a marriage is something that two thirds of us have, or will experience. When it all falls down, it behooves one to not act like a dick, either for the benefit of children, fur children or just your general damn self. Being a quality ex is important, as it proves that you’re the bigger person and not willing to entertain the fetid squabbling nonsense bullshit over crockery that eventually broke the relationship you both treasured so much. Just because I work from home, it doesn’t mean that I’m a housekeeper you can fuck, Helen.
What? Seriously. Kids, when you move in with someone, take the division of labour seriously. It seems pointless and childish, but pick zones and stick to it. Seriously. For reals.
Annnnnyway. One divorced couple on the internet turned the beauty of divorce into a tacky trinket presenting their daughter with a necklace reforged from Mum’s wedding band. The result, well, it’s sweet and moving, and godfuckingdamn what is that.
my mom gave me this necklace this morning as an early birthday gift. it’s made from the diamonds of her wedding band. she said although her marriage to my dad didn’t work out, they both agreed I was the best thing to come from it, which is why she wanted me to have it. 💗 pic.twitter.com/6Rz6yCUw2M
— Devin Petit (@devin_petit) February 12, 2018
I suppose it’s a spectacular subtle burn to the constructs of matrimony – something you have to wear, but you’d never dare in public, because you couldn’t deal with the shame. The subtext here: Don’t get married.
Good one, Mum.
Cape Town authorities debut the friendly face of the upcoming apocalypse.
The water crisis in Cape Town is no laughing matter, at some point in the very near future, Capetownians will run out. The local government knows this, and perhaps were tired of people not taking #DayZero aqua-dequately seriously, so they’ve rolled out a helpful drip to reverse that trend.
if the possibility of day zero arriving still hasn’t scared you into saving water this water mascot definitely will pic.twitter.com/2xrBW1ssn5
— zak (@zakareeee) February 15, 2018
Yeah. The mascot, Splash, presumably named after the moment when all your interior muck falls on the floor after he cleaves apart your sternum to tap your own water source (because we’re 75% water, duh), and I’m not sure how to end that sentence because I’m lost in his eyes of pure hatred, and why yes, Splash, I will buy all the bottled water in Sydney and send it to Cape Town. Whatever you want man, I don’t want no trouble. What? Ye-eah, I can pee myself, but then you don’t get the water my jeans do — ok, alright, ok, I’m doing it. I’m d– oh god. There. Happy now, Splash? No! I didn’t mean like that. Splash?
— Bonga Dlulane (@DlulaneMonwa) February 15, 2018
The Top 5 Tweets from Overnight
— Park MGM (@parkmgm) February 4, 2018
We should solve this missed connection & find the guy with yellow shoes on the G Train. If you’re reading this, let us see you and meet Devin under the mural (N10th & Wythe) at 1pm on Valentine’s Day. Thank you @parkMGM for giving us hope! #IfItsMeantToBe #ad pic.twitter.com/B58FkGXxui
— yes williamsburg (@YesWburg) February 10, 2018
This would be my whole routine pic.twitter.com/xht1bv1Np4
— Sophie Shepherd (@sophshepherd) February 15, 2018
This is Art pic.twitter.com/uwKDy2OuCv
— Ben Pack, Hobbling Man (@PackBenPack) February 15, 2018
do we have until midnight to bang one more out
— Aus Gov Just Googled (@GovGoogles) February 15, 2018