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Facebook no longer down with the kids: Adult marketing study

It’s happened. Just like MySpace before it, Facebook is being abandoned by the youth of today and is officially not cool, man.



Let me start out by saying, to those of the older generation who initially criticised the march of social media and now actively use it, you’re very much welcome. In fact, if one study is to be believed, the millennial invention may soon be yours and yours alone.

The bean counters from eMarketer discovered that our Californian overlords have lost approximately 2.8 million users under the age of 25 in the last calendar year. I realise that number is but a drop in the hubristic bucket, but a loss is a loss is a loss. eMarketer believes that the bled pool of users are now staining the nonsensical walls of Snapchat, which, being over thirty, Snapchat is absolute cockwaffle.

Don’t get me wrong, that electronic Rome is not burning, as Facebook’s 1.4 billion daily users laugh in the face of Snapchat’s 187 million, but the changes in user growth reflect a longstanding cultural truth: What old people like isn’t cool. It’s entirely possible that Facebook is the Arthur Fonzarelli of the social media world. It was cool to hang out in the toilet of a restaurant and ride a motorcycle down a flight of stairs, before that old dude in the leather jacket did it. How can Facebook remain edgy when your mum is openly flirting a series of people who could be your next step-dad?

You see, youth (and the thumb blood of) is paramount for those invested in social media, because, and sorry to bring this up, but as Facebook’s minimum age rises, more users will be lost at a more frequent clip. You know, because of the whole death thing. Get this, by Facebook’s eighth birthday, 30 million users didn’t see their next one. Snapchat is not an antidote to death, but their base will be turning their faces in dragons or whatever tosh for a long period.

A piece of advice, Facebook. Best you get a convertible and an ear piercing, tout suite, you know, to win the kids back.

That’s cool, man.