TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: Trump fires Tillerson, 7000 shoes speak volumes, Shia tells all, we don’t care

Morning. Overnight, we’ve had another casualty in the Trump administration, a powerful anti-gun demonstration in Washington and Shia Labeouf tell all.



Tillerson sent to the political glue factory, magic number reduces to 14.

And it all came tumbling down. The departure of Rex Tillerson from Trump’s Eden has made a rather obvious point clear to this newsbot. This would be a perfect time for the manufacturers of Jenga to make a Trump Administration special edition. That or Guess Who? Does he have glasses? Is he carrying a dossier from the politburo?



As noted mirth firing South African Trevor Noah illustrated above, another one bites the dust. And another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust. Hey. I’m gonna get you too, et cetera.



It seems, at least according to the internet, that Rex was sent to the political glue factory for being too tough on Russia. Side piece of trivia, Tillerson is a recipient of the Russian Order of Friendship.

According to wondrous chart dweebs FiveThirtyEight, prior to Tillerson’s firing, Trump’s cabinet was already built on historically shaky lino.



What does it all mean, though? Don must now surely walk warily down the street, brim pulled way down low. Ain’t no sound but the sound of his feet — sorry, that song has now taken up residency in my head. So whatever happens next, the question remains. Are we ready, hey, are we ready for this?

Please help.


Activists place 7,000 pairs of shoes on the lawn of the Capitol, one for each child slain by gun violence since 2012.

Elsewhere in that unfortunate continent, the anti-gun set has cobbled together a display worthy of Hemingway’s famous sentence. Protestors have left 7,000 pairs of shoes on the lawn of the Capitol, symbolising the number of children slain since the Sandy Hook shooting back in 2012.

Which, jesus. Words do tend to fail.




Shia reveals everything in Esquire interview, internet focuses on moronical tidbit. 

Shia LaBeouf, the most interesting man that currently stands on the limelighted beaches of this problematic and often stupiud watery orb, is interesting, but like all great artists of his calibre, he’s prone to making absolute rubbish. Now, I’d like to add a point of difference. Movie Shia is not Artist Shia. Unless it was Artist Shia watching Movie Shia watching his movies, which was art.

Shia is essentially very much him, he is, as Bob Dylan would put it, a song which walks by itself. Which is true, because Shia has legs. And while they might have rushed him through Hollywood (and perhaps its trapdoor, if you are of that mindset), or on the treadmill of making modern artistic statements, he’s pitching his life/life’s work (same thing) to a mass of zero attention, those who only really cared as he was already famous, those who choose to speculate on his purported downfall. Us. It’s hard to separate the art from the artist in Shia, whether he’s doing it for expression, or it’s a cry for help.

Sadly, we don’t really hear it. Or, we do, and we don’t care. We glean the headlines, not the subtext. While Shia instructed us all to just do it, perhaps we didn’t wonder why he said it.

Who cares, Shia’s crazy.

Well, the latest chapter is upon us, as Shia has decided to pour all of himself onto the floors of Esquire.



However, Twitter has already latched onto something far more pointless. Kayne West stealing his clothes that time.





Oh, Shia. Maybe we’ll respect you as we do all artists. Which is after your death, and not really at all.

In fact, Shia is our Toulouse-Lautrec. A man who accurately snapshotted a period of time, and the people he captured really didn’t give a shit about him because of it.




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