TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: North and South Korea at peace, Starbucks to close 8,000 stores, Morrissey burns last London bridge

Well, good morning to you, cutie. Overnight, North and South Korea have decided to be friends, Starbucks responded to racist allegations and Morrissey made us cry. But not in a good way.

 

North and South Korea decide to stop fighting. Wait, what?

Peace is a strange dish, we’re often unsure how to attack it. With North and South Korea apparently set to finally drop the spears they’ve been holding for 68 years, with apparent ‘complete denuclearisation’ on the cards, the whole thing seems a bit otherworldly, a smidge not real.

 

 

The challenges the peace talks face are of the adult variety. One pair of big boy pants must fit two nations who, for the longest time, have known little about the other, other than the fact that they’re the enemy. Other than Kim’s nuclear penis, economic and social engagement is pickle, as is the entirety of the whole US/South Korea alliance.

We’re all for tearing down fences, but check the hatefucking at the door, yeah?

 

 

Starbucks to close 8,000 US stores for racial-bias training in the wake of arrests.

Earlier this week, Starbucks evoked a rather grim throwback from 1950s America, as two black customers were arrested for the vicious crime of loitering in one of their stores in Philadephia.

 

 

Which lead to understanably vociferous public criticism, leading to this fairly on-point take down from Trevor Noah:

Flashforward to two days later, and Starbucks will close over 8,000 nationwide stores to offer anti-bias training to 175,000 employees. Frankly, I’m of the mind that Starbucks that should be cast into the venti-est bin we can find, both on the grounds crimes against race, and indeed taste. Blergh.

 

 

Fans of The Smiths make divorce with 2018 Morrissey final after latest rant.

Certain people exist, and they certainly represent a certain problem. You admire what they’ve done, but not who they happen to be. Morrissey certainly falls into this category. The tone of his voice is the kernel of the issue. If accompanied by a climbing jangling guitar, moping this way through the impossibility of love, while still hoping to possess it, it is your headphone that prods your cochlea. If his voice is in text or newspaper print, it is your index finger.

Last night, I dreamed that somebody loved me…enough to reform The Smiths and fucking tour, but this morning I’m met with just another false alarm as Morrissey decided to pan the Mayor of London for speaking poorly, before likening racism as nothing more than a conversational checkmate. He also said that Hitler was left-wing, and that England was ISIS.

As the Internet does in time of crisis, it made with the memes, exhuming the corpse of a long-standing Frankenstein issue, drafting the divorce between the man and the art.

 

 

 

Perhaps the true lesson for true fans (of his music), is this:

 

 

 

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