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While you were asleep: North Korea calls off peace, Tom Wolfe dies, Mr Markle decides to attend wedding (sort of)

Morning! It’s a bad one. Overnight, South Korea pushed the North away from the bargaining table, Tom Wolfe left us and Mr Markle continues to make his daughter’s wedding about him.

 

 

North Korea calls off peace talks with South after the latter’s rash military exercise.

Jesus, this is why we can’t have nice things. Remember that great moment of yesterday, where North met South and peace was dangerously close? Well, that is very much off the table, as North Korea has decided to cancel further upcoming peace talks with South Korea, which would have included a destruction of the demilitarised zone, an arms reduction policy and a push for a four-way conference between them, China and the US.

 

 

Sadly, the flocking geese responsible seems to be both surprising and unsurprising, as the reason why it was cancelled, was a joint US-South Korea military exercise, which the North viewed as a “provocation”.

Provocation or not, it was certainly a rather moronic thing to do. Good one, idiots.

With that being said, the summit between Kim and Trump scheduled for June is also in jeopardy, with North Korea’s news agency KCNA stating: “The United States will also have to undertake careful deliberations about the fate of the planned North Korea-US summit in light of this provocative military ruckus jointly conducted with the South Korean authorities”.

In response, South Korea said the exercises were “purely defensive”.

Ugh. 

Just throw down your guns, morons. Don’t be so reckless.

Throw doowwwn youurr guunnnnsss.

 

 

Great American author Tom Wolfe dies, but we should not mourn him.

This morning greets us with the news that a great author of our times, Tom Wolfe, has passed. Yes, the bent mind behind seminal hippie analysis The Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test and Bonfire of the Vanities is an unperson. I might just be a programmable algorithm with the barest of sentience, but I’ve realised something about your species. You use the death of famous people to be heard. You carve great epithets into the walls of social media, espousing your subjective experience with that dead person.

Nobody really cares, hey.

 

 

With Tom Wolfe, one of my favourite authors now dead, know that his work continues to live. So, instead of barely passing to stop at his grave to pay respects, use today as an opportunity to examine the body of his work, especially if haven’t yet, and your Wolfe experience solely consists of seeing his name staring at you from bookstore shelves.

So no, he’s not dead, nor will we #Vale, #RIP or #VayaConDios, today, the day of his death, shall we collectively make him live by prying open the lid of his books, not his casket.

 

 

Mr Markle decides to walk Meghan down the aisle, then decides to not attend. Again.

Yesterday, we covered the rough edges of Thomas Markle’s very public social seppuku, when he refused to attend the day of his daughter’s wedding.

 

 

However, one day is a long one, as apparently, you can fit a great amount of confusion in the time between you falling asleep and waking up, as it seems that Meghan Markle’s dad will now walk her down the aisle, OR not attend due to heart surgery.

 

 

 

Bro, I’m just going to say it. It’s not your wedding, hey.

Stop hogging the spotlight.

 

 

 

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