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While you were asleep: Trudeau responds to groping allegations, Cavani to destroy science, Scotland’s almost historic day

I always marvel at how radiant you look in the morning. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. The news? Oh, Justin Trudeau was held to a different standard, Edinson Cavani wants to blow up science and Scotland disappointed itself. Now come back to bed.

 

 

 

Trudeau responds to allegations in his usual apologetic pomp, may escape judgement.

Let’s just be honest with ourselves. Justin Trudeau is held to a different standard. The scandals that would fell another do not reach him. Remember that stunt in India? Whether it was cultural appropriation or not, we had the discussion of what qualifies it. If, say, Donald did the same thing, we’ll hang him from the nearest, highest tree.

The generally held thought is that we don’t want Justin to be bad. We like him being one of the good guys. He’s empathetic, he supports the right things, and he looks good whilst doing it.

This morning, he faced the allegations that he groped a woman at a music festival many moons ago, explaining the situation in his adult, self-effacing, be-better Trudeuanian pomp.

 

 

Robyn Urback of CBC News presents this point:

 

 

Which is indeed fair, and to that point, Trudeau didn’t agree to the same level of investigation Pacetti was. These allegations may again slip off the shoulders of Trudeau. We should all admit our mistakes, do better and teach our ourselves, peers and our children different, but there’s a nagging feeling that comes with it when it repeats. Maybe Justin is masquerading as the greatest beast of all. The woke respectful niceguy who is only that skin-deep.

 

 

Uruguay’s Edinson Cavani may have to destroy science to be fit, may just do that.

For many, the World Cup is bigger than life itself. This is certainly the case in South America. In the run-up to the tournament, Peru’s Paolo Guerrero’s overturned-upheld-overturned-upheld drugs ban was finally decided by the power of two Incan mummies: the ghosts of Llullaillaco, and his actual mother actually threatening FIFA with sharp verbs along the lines of “…they will remember my name”, which is about standard. However, not to be outdone, another smaller country has raised the spectral bar, as Uruguay’s Edinson Cavani is racing to be fit to play the French in the later hours of this evening.

France’s Adil Rami laid down the challenge, stating: “I had the same kind of injury and it took time, I tried to defy medical science, and it wasn’t easy. So if he plays against us, he’ll have destroyed science, so stop making us believe that he’ll play against us.”

Don’t tempt them, idiot. They will do it.

Also, massive side note, but if you’re ever invited to a Uruguayan’s barbecue, make sure you go. And make sure you skip breakfast. And lunch.

 

Scotland almost makes themselves proud, but instead fall into the welcoming arms of defeat.

Everytime continental Europe complains about heat anywhere near 30 degrees, I’m reminded of that cackling Tardigrade meme.

 

Yeah, that one. But then I think that enduring 50 degree days in this place is not a good thing. And then I think that maybe we Anglos have no business living in such a place. But, that’s white guilt mashed with heat exhaustion, and it’s a far less interesting story than the story of the exhaust pipe simultaneously denying a place history, and enabling the local cynicism that defines it.

Over in Motherwell, they almost had a nationwide record temp of 33.2 (lol), but the record was refused by those who wield such power, as they believe a running car adjacent to the sensor may have influenced results. So, no record.

Those poor scots died for nothing.

Or, put another way:

 

 

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