Good Monday to you, victims. Overnight, four of the boys have been rescued from that Thai cave, Paulinho marched back to China and 1977’s Vogue has some health advice for you.
Nine remain in the cave, Elon Musk offers to help. Eye. Roll.
As you read this, two of the teenagers stuck in a dank Thai cave have been rescued. The first pair made the four kilometre journey well ahead of schedule, with two more following soon after. Nine more remain, with the operation continuing.
— ABC News (@abcnews) 8 July 2018
With this coming to close, and perhaps a better result than we imagined, it’s both a win for humanity, and indeed for local expertise, with both the world and Elon Musk breathing down their necks.
Got more great feedback from Thailand. Primary path is basically a tiny, kid-size submarine using the liquid oxygen transfer tube of Falcon rocket as hull. Light enough to be carried by 2 divers, small enough to get through narrow gaps. Extremely robust.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) 7 July 2018
Vast congratulations go to the divers, the crew and Elon’s employees trying to awkwardly make conversation at the cave entrance. We see you.
Paulinho proves that going to China doesn’t kill your career, kills career by going to China.
The story of Paulinho is an odd one. Choosing China over the English Premier League, it was roundly agreed upon that he’d be walking down a career cul-de-sac. However, we were wrong. He moved from Guangzhou Evergrande to the lofty heights of FC Barcelona, confusing many. Further confusion occurred when we discovered that he could still very much play. He starred at the World Cup, he was starting for Barca. All good, right? Mischief managed?
Well, sort of. This morning, he announced his move from FC Barcelona to…Guangzhou Evergrande. What?
— Fabio Cannavaro (@fabiocannavaro) 8 July 2018
I mean, ok. Maybe this Twitterer has a clue.
Paulinho left a cushy life in China to test himself with the worst Barça since 2013, won a league title (never losing a game when he played), scored at a World Cup and now heads back to that cushy Chinese life after one year. farewell to a legend. #PaulindOr #ICONIC https://t.co/jgJx9CRSSc
— Muhammad Butt (@muhammadbutt) 8 July 2018
Paulinho reminds me of that student that wows everyone with a superb essay, then immediately goes back to picking their nose and carving their initials into the wall. Enjoy? Paulinho?
Twitter discovers crash diet from 1977. Probably best you don’t diet and drive.
And finally, dieting in the modern age is a trail. One devoid of taste, reward or meaning. You look better, you think. But you’re not sure. All you want is a steak. And some booze. Fortunately, the internet is a lovely place, a mine impossibly populated by the diamond nuggets of confirmation bias.
For those looking for a fitness alternative, look no further than 1970s Vogue and their extremely powerful crash diet.
A “crash diet” from Vogue in the 70s. I think I’d crash about 20 minutes after lunch 😩 pic.twitter.com/iFIdgK5CIX
— Caroline (a moon) (@curlywine) 6 July 2018
If that isn’t your bag, how about the Banana and Milk diet? Strangely, you can have coffee if you need to remain conscious, but you can’t put milk in it. Damn, 1977. What were you on. Drugs? Drugs.
Yikes. If it was this one, I think I can see why pic.twitter.com/eF7ZecPZ8J
— Caroline (a moon) (@curlywine) 7 July 2018