Happy morning after Brexit! Yes, that’s regret you taste, chums. What else happened while you were asleep? Well, a questionable portrait was hung, and Sean Spicer crashed through the floor.
Morn-o! What happened while you were asleep? Yet more details emerged from Don Dale, the cretin behind Comic Sans emerged, and Apple want to make this relationship work, granting space.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Qld faced up to cyclone Debbie in an unexpected way, the world’s largest dinosaur prints were discovered, and, holster that angst, True Detective is back.
Monday? Why? What happened while you were asleep? Well, Trump swiftly moved on from failure to insanity, the Internet signed a petition to right a court’s wrong and Julie Bishop believes in IS.
Well, much like Highlander, there could only be one… One #AusPol topic this week, that is, as 18C drunkenly steered RMS Political Discourse awry.
Thursday, you’re beautiful. What happened while you were asleep? Well, London was attacked on two fronts, North Korea embarrassed itself, and Freud clicked his tongue from beyond the grave.
Morn-o! What happened while you were asleep? Well, the future of the EU got shakier, a river was granted human rights and our cricketers scored an overdue payrise.
And a good harmony day to you. What happened while you were asleep? Well, QandA took on fake news, the Turnbull gov made a point on 18C and a large chicken was…large.
“What do we have here?”, we coyly ask, as we pry open the pages of George Brandis’ diary, eyes ravenously scanning for the juiciest of goss. Turns out…we have a lot of nothing.
Ahh, Monday…can’t wait to shirk your challenges. What happened while you were asleep? Well, the White House fell under attack from stupidity, there were renewed calls for drug decriminalisation and 2017 claimed it’s next victim.
An unexpected comment, rattled chains beyond the grave and a rather awkies presser. Who musked themselves in #AusPol this week?
What day is it? What happened while you were asleep? Fine, comrade question. Snoop Dogg dropped a clown, the new ACTU boss didn’t mince words, and the five second rule was legitimised. Happy now?
Blergh. Morning. What happened while you were asleep? Well, the world’s Sperm is drying up, Malcolm Roberts tried out a new career and Sean Spicer surreptitiously bested the press gallery.
Parting, as a great person said, is such unnecessary sorrow. With Parliament green-lighting the Brexit, expect a particularly messy divorce.
Tuesday, you minx. What happened while you were asleep? Abject stupidity, that’s what. A famous fictional Boaty was reborn a submarine, a woman with a famous name was sentenced and a famous rivalry turned sour.
Monday. Why always you? What happened while you were asleep? Beer met the bible to discuss same-sex marriage, NZ shot back into relevance and Breaking Bad, “the movie”, debuted.
A baby boomer discovered memes, the English Empire returned and an intern printed some paper. What a week it was in #AusPol. So, who won?
Need. Coffee. What happened while you were asleep? Well, the Statue of Liberty went dark, Islamic State attacked a hospital in Kabul and Ikea gave into our complaints.
Morn-o! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Trump tabled his new ban, IMDb introduced an all female rating system and robots turned to the alt-Right.
Morning, all. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Korea’s awkward divorce got testy, 2pac and Biggie restarted their (bidding) war and Bakers Delight were reprimanded for an idea down with the kids.
Monday. Get away from her, you bitch. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Bob Hawke returned to the fold, Darwin didn’t get its cyclone and two F-35’s were defeated by a drizzle.
A Webster’s worthy dose of doublespeak, the re-emergence of the colour line, and a musical interlude all featured in #AusPol this week. But who won? Well…