The rise of Marine Le Pen, Victoria taking the fun out the drive-by and the confirmation of a wave of Avatar sequels. Probably best you go back to bed, pumpkin.
Mike Pence dropped in to see if we were still friends, Alien life may be a reality on the moons of Saturn and Matt Damon was zinged beyond the grave. What a week.
Today’s theme is death. Hooray! We’ve had NK celebrate a birthday with an odd gift, a fall from grace completed in prison and Adidas joined the marketing gaffe trend.
Malcolm Turnbull has gut the 457 visa system to “put Australians first”. As a nation, we have an awkward history with that particular sentence.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, Theresa May Brexit-proofed her reelection, we know what jobs can no longer be worked on the 457 and a Centrelink office caught fire in Frankston.
The first day back at work. Oh, dear. As for what you’ve missed: Pence vowed NK to pay price, Rage aged well and artistic demigod Rhianna wowed Coachella. Sarcasm abounds.
This week, we’ve seen the poltergeist of Tony Abbott rearranging the furniture of the coalition leadership, but I fear the jump scare no longer gets a reaction.
Morning! It was an historic evening as Berkeley saw another bloody demonstration, Bernie Sanders’ legacy was ruined and a one-note song played its part in a referendum.
The world has been gripped with a missile measuring contest, there’s been more trouble on Manus Island, we said goodbye to a couple of comedy greats and heard about the world’s greatest Maccas run.
Yes, Donald Trump dropped the largest bomb since WW2 on Afghanistan, but the target was not ISIS as reported.
Over in Alabama, the Senate has okayed a police force with ‘all the powers of law enforcement’ to protect a Church of four thousand. Should be fine.
Morno! Thursday? Okay. What happened while you were asleep? Well, NK threatened the US, Taiwan moved away from tradition and terrorism attacked the beautiful game.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? We’re no closer to a Syria solution, Kendrick Lamar’s album art underwhelmed, and a terminal patient went out with a cigarette. And a wine!
First, we got the Pepsi ad taken down, now we’re looking to take down United Airlines. But just because their PR doctors deem our criticism right, that doesn’t make it so.
Savour your morning whatever, because there was evil a-brewin’ last night, with Natasha Exelby stood down after her viral moment, an unbreakable witch’s curse, and stupidity manifesting itself in high art.
Wow. Monday again. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Egypt was wracked by two bombings, a newsreader revealed herself, and the E-in-C’s nan wanted to speak with you. You’re not in trouble.
What a week it was. We could sum the entirety of it with one word (Syria), but unfortunately, there was more to it; featuring cameos from Belle Gibson, Sweden and Wolverine’s latest cut.
Donald Trump bombing Syria has not just split the earth in Homs, but also his most dedicated voter base.
We all look as bad as we feel. So, what happened while you were asleep? UN discussions over Syria, disappointment in Perth and Malcolm was forced to make up with Trump.
Morning! What happened while you were asleep? Well, a gas attack in Syria “mysteriously” happened, scientists developed a theory to make saltwater drinkable and linesmen were announced as pushed to extinction.
The cancellation of Islam critic Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s tour was viewed as a win on both sides of the free speech argument. However, those who cheered on the news are making a fatal miscalculation.
Monday. Hooray to you too. What happened while you were asleep? Well, an Australian academic was freed from China, Colombia suffered a murky tragedy and the creator of the Rainbow Flag left us.