Science has told us what we look for in our partners. But we don’t agree, so we asked our writers what things they seek. And we want to know yours!
Well, it’s officially official. Romance is dead, smothered by the cold hand of Science. Due to a monumental study undertaken by David Frederick, Ph.D., which incorporated two national datasets, and collated data from some 28,000 test cases to give us a definitive answer at long last.
So what do we look for in a partner?
Well, in the words of David Frederick,Ph.D.:
“…We looked at the extent to which attractiveness and resources are ‘desirable’ versus ‘essential’ to men and women when they are looking for a long-term partner,”
According to his findings, it all comes down to stereotype:
“We’ve known for a long time that men care more about attractiveness in a long term partner, and women care more about resources. In two national datasets, we found that gender was by far the strongest predictor of what people want in a long-term mate: it was more important than age, income, education, or confidence in appearance. We found that although men have stronger preferences for a ‘good looking’ and ‘slender’ partner, men and women care equally about having a partner who is specifically attractive to them. Wealthier men and people who were more confident in their appearance had stronger preferences for a good-looking partner, and older men and women placed less importance on looks and income traits when seeking a long-term partner,”
The question of gender stereotypes existing for a reason is an argument for another day, but all evidence leads toward vicious pigeonholing, tritely backed up by further evidence from the report:
At the pointy brass-tacked end, it seems you have to be Hot and/or Rich to be happy. Fortunately, we’re all cash-heavy and belt-thin. Right? Puh-leeze. Where’s the love? Where’s the in-between area most of us live in? Where’s that chart? It’s all a bit cold, isn’t it?
Well. We’re certainly not going to dip to the stringent ‘no-dancing’ rules of Science. We at TBS are nothing if not nothing a bunch of hopeless romantics (emphasis on hopeless). So we’ve asked some of our writers what attribute they value most in a partner. And also what attribute past partners never possessed, but they wished they did.
A) What attribute do you value the most in a partner?
Trust. I know that seems like a trite and easy answer, but it’s true. I want to be able to look in my partner’s eyes and know when we talk, that we’re sharing the truth with each other. I’m a nervous, anxious person and it puts me at ease to be able to completely trust the person I’m with.
B) What attribute do you wish your partners had – but never did?
Self-confidence. I only ever dated one person who was confident in their skin. I’m not just talking about in terms of their body. These were smart, funny, incredible women who just had no confidence about their abilities. It’s hard and it’s sad to see. I don’t mean that as a jab or a barb. Everyone is weak sometimes. I would just love to see someone who is just like, “Yeah, I rock at ” or “You know what? I am pretty hot”. That would be awesome.
A) A sense of social justice and the ability to understand and accept my many eccentricities.
B) A penchant for making abundant, never ending, stacks of money. Like lottery levels of cash. So I can finally live the kept, luxurious lifestyle that I so richly deserve.
A) Transparent communication, an Open heart, Emotional intelligence and a willingness to own their demons.
A) Attitude/Sass, backed up by intelligence.
A) Sharp wit, and a good set of tits.
B) Sharp wit, and a good set of tits.
A) Honesty, a kind and bubbly personality. Funny, Loyal.
B) Honesty and the ability to communicate.
A) A keen mind, a prickled psyche and a heart of gold. All wrapped in a bow that gives no fucks. And someone who gives me sh!t.
B) Dunno. It’s tough. The ability to trust themselves? It’s hard to say for sure. They’ve all been similar, but entirely different.
But enough of our preferences, what about yours? Leave it in the comments below!