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While you were asleep: Orlando shooter’s wife arrested, the Aus 1%, and Trump moves against NATO

NATO

Approx Reading Time-11Sweet, lousy Tuesday. What happened while you were asleep? Well, the Orlando shooting returned, Gina owns more money than all of us combined and I agreed with Donald Trump. Oh dear.

 

Wife of Orlando nightclub shooter arrested, charged.

Noor Salman, wife of Omar Mateen has been nabbed by the FBI and charged with two federal charges; primarily the aiding and abetting of Mateen’s attempted provision and provision of material support to ISIL.

Although Salman did not pull the trigger, her arrest was met with exaltation in the ‘states, with Orlando police chief John Mina leading the discourse, stating: “…Today, there is some relief in knowing that someone will be held accountable for that horrific crime.” Salman will face a Floridian court on Tuesday.

 

Two Australian billionaires have more wealth than the bottom 70% combined, #PayMyGasBillGina.

The long-running pop-culture staple of “American fads catching on down here years after they’re relevant”  (e.g., I saw Vanilla Ice for NYE in 2010) has struck once more with the news that Australia now has its own 1% Scrooge McDuck fiduciary effete. Allow me to momentarily rehitch these burlap sacks (which double as my formal corduroys) to offer the most glum of congratulatory thumbs up.

I ain’t even mad though, just really depressed. So much so that I’ve fled to the arms of a generously Rubenesque rapper and discovered a truism which will comfort us as we weep uncontrollably in the bottom of our shower this morning: “Mo money, mo problems”. Although, due to Wikipedia, another bummer is heaped upon this bummer, as he released the song posthumously, therefore he had no problems to speak of whatsoever. Liar!

Here’s another positive. We’re freed of the vicious choice each morning, that of which car to choose for the morning commute. We’re pragmatic. We choose neither. We take the train.

Everyone wins.

via GIPHY

Actually, I’m not asking for income tax reform, or that we go the full-Lenin and take matters into our own hands and yay, socialism; all I’m asking is that Gina pay my overdue utilities.

#PayMyGasBillGina

 

Trump/Russia call NATO old hat, readjust beret.

As a history nerd, I have no friends. It’s especially painful when I have no-one to point out the end of it; or the disarming of cold war fustigaton. Last year (or whenever it was) when Tony Abbott threatened Vladimir, and Vladdy responded by sending his second favourite penis-extenstion to our warm coral-less waters: classic cold war pissing contest.

In this red vein, Putin’s bezzie bestie, and soon to be POTUS, Donald Trump, has called for the disassemblement of NATO, in exchange for limiting the nuclear arsenal of Russia. This is a massive step in the right direction, and don’t let the yellow smell that follows the orange one to distract you. Allow me to drop the historical beat to tell you what time it is (yeaaahh boooyyeee), you see, NATO was formed in the morning of the Cold War, an organisation formed ostensibly to set up Western Europe as the jumping off point for WW3. In response, the Soviet Union formed the Warsaw Pact, cue the wall, the airlift, the Cuba and the saving nukes for a rainy day.

Now, in every administration since, NATO has marched ever closer to the Russia border, even swallowing up the ex-Soviet states who all claimed independence prior to drunk Uncle Boris’ flag changing shenanigans. See below:

via GIPHY

What makes this important, is that NATO has been a sword hanging over the hammer since the US decided that they were no longer friends after WW2, and thusly, has been one of the threats to the peace, and not, as they claim, the insurance policy for Soviet expansion.

Which is the entirety of the issue. Soviet. Expansion. Trump is absolutely correct. Tear down this archaic relic. Less nukes, and the thawing of ancient cold friction in Western Europe. Sounds like smart politics to me.

Well done, Donald.

 

Top five (mostly political) Tweets from overnight…

 

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