Monday. Yeah, I see you. What happened while you were asleep? Well, Kim Kardashian picked apart Trump, Uber lost some clientele and we witnessed the birth of twin goats.
Trump’s #MuslimBan rhetoric accurately refuted, by Kim Kardashian.
Right. Who hoped that 2017 would, if not be less cruel, make slightly more sense? Pardon me while I compose a Tweet to adequately chart my disgust. One that is irritatingly interspersed with clapping hands so you can barely read it. Anyway, the vociferous criticism of Trump’s frankly hateful #MuslimBan was eloquently refuted by the future First Lady (or POTUS), who decided to wheel her stats out to disprove the stupidity.
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) January 29, 2017
Yes, we can castigate her for pinching the statistics, or speculate on the fact that hubby Kanye supports Trump while Kim doesn’t (Oh, my, god, Becky. Look at her speculation. It is so…big…), but the issue here is, whether we like it or not, when Kim speaks, people tend to listen. Especially those who don’t follow politics but instead follow themes espoused by notable people.
Considering the low voter turnout at the 2016 election, and the lack of interest in politics in general actually, perhaps Kim K enabling those who hadn’t thought about it before now (or bloody well turned up) can only be a good thing.
Speculation: Does this mean that Kim is running against Kanye in 2020? OMG. Just give me two seconds to find a suitably bitchy GIF.
NYC cabbies declare “I’m protestin’ here”, Uber pinches fares, suffers hashtag blowback.
Without making too sweeping a generalisation, there’s no-one more principled than the embittered NY cabbie. Following on the fine activist bent put forward by their Patron Saint of Principled Violence and strangely neat closure, Travis Bickle, the hacks of Noo Yawk did this:
NO PICKUPS @ JFK Airport 6 PM to 7 PM today. Drivers stand in solidarity with thousands protesting inhumane & unconstitutional #MuslimBan.
— NY Taxi Workers (@NYTWA) January 28, 2017
Alright you racists, you white supremacists, you elected officials, here is a cabbie that stood up. Here is…a privately funded trendy upwardly vertical venture to steal your fares. Yes, the trendy friend of the drunk metropolitan type, Uber, have decided that business is business and decided not to join the cabbies in their protest.
As the Internet usually takes things, it didn’t take this well, with the hashtag #DeleteUber prompting the outraged to…delete uber.
— Alison Herman (@aherman2006) January 29, 2017
— Simeon Benit (@simeonbenit) January 29, 2017
— Austin 🌹 (@peacoatseason) January 29, 2017
Although for the eagle eyed reader, and kudos to you at this hellish time of the morning, you’d have noticed the impossibly trendy sounding Twitter user “peacoatseason” register their disgust, before showing their support not for those who have been wronged, but rather Uber’s competitor, Lyft. Oh, dear.
What’s wrong with the humble NY cabbie?
Two more sporting goats are enshrined in the Hall of Goats, confusion reigns.
Sorry for the misleading clickbait-y banner. Here’s a picture of a sporting goat. I hope this adequately salvages our credibility.
Last night, two sporting demigoats, Roger Federer and Serena Williams, won immortality by besting two goat-elects, Rafael Nadal and Venus Williams – goats, in their own right – and one day the title may indeed be theirs…which is the problem. GOAT in sport-ese translates to Greatest of all Time, a handle once lowered onto the shoulders of Muhammad Ali (who was also The Greatest, as well as the GOAT, who incidentally released an impractically large tome called GOAT) but has since slipped onto the shoulders of…well, whoever has shown some sort of lasting talent.
— TheODDSbible (@TheOddsBible) January 29, 2017
With her 23rd Grand Slam title, Serena Williams breaks a tie with Steffi Graf for the most in the Open Era. pic.twitter.com/N1Elws15AF
— ESPN (@espn) January 28, 2017
But these are not sour grapes, as they’ve been picked off the vine by these athletic ruminants; the problem comes down to semantics. How can there be more than one goat? A herd? It makes no sense. In the boundaries of athletic competition there should be one. It’s a competition.
I vote GOAT off. If only to stop this rubbish.
— Alex Shaw (@AlexShawESPN) January 29, 2017
The top five Tweets from overnight
is country with openly racist policies take our refugees a good look
— Aus Gov Just Googled (@GovGoogles) January 29, 2017
PM of #Australia says
Not. A. Word
RT if you feel my anger right now
— Kon Karapanagiotidis (@Kon__K) January 29, 2017
— Mariam Veiszadeh (@MariamVeiszadeh) January 29, 2017
NEW PLAN:@realDonaldTrump if U step down now, EVERY A-LIST CELEBRITY will play at your goodbye party & we’ll give U the BIGGEST CROWDS EVER
— Dan Slott (@DanSlott) January 29, 2017
— Annabel Park (@annabelpark) January 29, 2017