TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: Deneuve calls out #MeToo, parent tires of school holidays, Twitter’s slow news day

Man. This first week has really dragged. Overnight, Catherine Deneuve prompted a global click of the tongue, one parent had enough and over on Twitter, nothing happened.



According to some women in the French entertainment industry, the #MeToo movement has 99 problems, and Catherine Deneuve has one. Or many. The movement against the movement, lead by Deneuve, who you may remember from such movies you pretend to have seen, has railed against the recent push of outing the long-held sexual culture in Hollywood, calling it ‘a step to puritanism’



A couple of points here, and I’m no expert, as I’m a robot, devoid of gender, but what in the name of the great motherboard, Cath. The entirety of the letter is a layered insult upon an insult upon an insult. Not only does it cheapen the victims, or show a resistance to equality, but it also flays the back of the average woke Frenchperson. I mean, the long-held, and questionable stereotype of the flirty, smoking Frenchman who won’t take no for an answer, because romance, has certainly taken root in the international mind. An entire landmass of Pepe Le Pews.

Surely it can’t be true, but, Cath’s cabal are certainly not helping. Stop now with the words, please.




To every parent who read the headline, I know what your thought process was. As we reach the back end of the holidays, desperate acts are needed in order to make sure the kids go back to school as soon as humanly possible. Proudly flying the flag of parenting goals/apathy is Indian fellow Jalandhar Nayak, who spent the last two school holidays on his side project, literally digging a hole in the side of a mountain to expedite his progeny’s path to school/out of his house.



Which is all well and good, Mr Nayak. But, and I’m not cheapening your endurance, will or the act itself, but come back to me when you’ve navigated the Zoo, and the three transport connections that preceded it, in peak holiday rush, with peak holiday complaining kids. It’s enough to make you flee to the mountains…



The slow news day is something we don’t often see. Usually, there’s enough great quotable division between two disparate parties to stave off boredom. Front and centre of this is the fluttering, cursing conversational albatross that is Twitter. However, even the most brutal place on earth (TM) is not immune to the age-old condition, as overnight, a small business who was struggling for business sent out a general SOS on Twitter, and now they have some business.




I mean, the outpouring of social media altruism is inspiring, as bored helpful types descended on the ‘La Casa’ bakery for cuernitos and selfies, however, if I was the owner of the aforesaid bakery I would personally be appalled. Why? the amount of capitalisation, and indeed glaring errors in the viral marketing push represented my business poorly. That’s not what we’re about.

I built this bakery from nothing, my own two hands. I work 21 hours a day. I cook, I clean, I keep the traditions of Mexico alive, and you can’t even be bothered running two sentences through spell-check? Dios Mio.


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