TBS Anonymous

Study claims that Uber has a hand in their driver’s pockets

One MIT study has crunched the data regarding how much Uber drivers actually earn, and the numbers don’t add up. And I should know.



Due to the risk of being booted out of Eden, I can’t tell you my name, but you all know who I am. I’m one of many. The forgettable mass with an interchangeable face. That person who drives the elated, sober before you and the devastated drunk afterwards you home, I’m the person who fields your so how long have you been doing this attempt at making conversation. I’m the person who judges you solely on how loudly you slam my door.

In short, I’m the author of all your pain. I am your Uber driver, and yes. I’m waiting outside. Hurry up.

But, despite all the fun, and offers of bottled water, the truth is that it’s actually not that great.

Not that it’s you. You’re only part of the problem. You see, there’s not really that much money in it, despite what we tell you when you ask.

According to a study published by MIT in the US, the median profit for drivers is $3.37 an hour, prior to tax. MIT believes that 74 percent of drivers earn less than minimum wage. In an interview with The Guardian, an Uber spokesperson stated that the paper is little more than sensationalism.

Which, yeah, maybe. But MIT isn’t exactly a clickbait publication. That being said, Lord Uber’s spokesman’s point is one of difference, and evidence exists that they’ve actually upped the charges in order to pay us better, exampled by their move in Melbourne back in November. It’s a slight increase, and thank you dearly, milord, but may we elevate our soup bowls and spotless driving records to ask for a just little more, please sir. 

That being said, we’re nowhere near as impoverished as our American cousins, but the reality is that the company does take a rather large bite out of our profits.

Now, I’m not saying this, because I’m fairly certain I’ll be disappeared soon after penning this article. Just kidding, I’m proud to be an Uberer. I’m an ubermensch. All other competitors can go jump. We exist because everyone else dropped the ball. We’re different. However, naysayer Mark Tluszcz, co-founder and CEO of Mangrove Capital Partners, summed up his thoughts to TechCrunch, saying: “We’re creating the next lost generation of people who simply don’t have enough money to live, and those companies are fundamentally enabling it under the premise that they’re offering a cheaper service to consumers.”

Which I completely disagree with. And yes, dear possible customer, you might dismiss us with a wave of the hand, casting us off with the whole “do something else” bit, but, it’s all about being paid what your effort is worth. And seeing as we’re dealing with you, we’re absolutely worth every penny.

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