TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: Man wears beanie, Trump meets dudes, RC to investigate the houses of liars

Oh, Tuesday. I hope it’s my last. Overnight, the internet picked on a man in a beanie, Donald Trump met some people and the Royal Commission will soon knock on the doors of those who lied on their home loan applications.



Irish man wears his prized beanie to funeral, wedding, job.

The Edge, the man made famous by being part of U2, a table and not having a proper name is a man who knows aesthetics. In the city of the blinding lights, he’s the one brandishing a box cutter, shrouded in criminal pallor. In English, the man loves a beanie. Now, the beanie is a rather elastic garment, one that suits many occasions, be it breaking into a car, a court appearance, or a cameo in Entourage. However, it seems that Mr Edge has taken the fancy a bit too far, and has applied the woollen shroud over his bonce at places that require one to do their hair.

To wit:




I mean, you do you, Mr Edge, but I don’t think the hat you wear for moments of great sorrow should be the same one you wear for moments of great joy. I can buy you a new hat if you’re a bit skint.


Trump meets baseball team, propagandists wall-paper the White House with nonsense.

You know what’s interesting about the World Champions of Beisbol, The Houston Astros meeting Donald Trump at the White House? Absolutely nothing. It’s just people standing around in a room.



However, when Donald tweets one does not just simply read his godawful codswabbling, as it behoves the discerning procrastinator to dive (feet first) into the bubbling mire of caustic dreck that the comment section be. There, padawan, is the gold.

Well, not gold. But it’s certainly something. Now, call me a propaganda hipster, but I remember it being, not noble, but halfway believable, well, not halfway believable, but you understood the point that it was making. Whereas, this parade of nonsense kind of…well whoever invented photoshop must surely pay for their sins in the next life.






Royal Commission to investigate those houses built on lies.

Finally, the Royal Commission is doing something worthwhile. Those faffed paper-shufflers are this week are looking to finally excavate those houses hyperbolically built on lies. Which, as we all know, is not a preferable foundation on which to build one’s house on. Unless a honeycomb of white lies operates as a worthwhile substitute.

Half-baked mirth aside, the RC is looking into home loans gained on a fraudulent basis, and indeed the environment of the home loan which prompts the person applying to lie. In fact, the UBS believes that $500b worth of loans might be based on lies, half-truths or full-porkies.

According to a survey of 1,000 home loaners, only 67% said their mortgage application was “completely factual and accurate,” of the remainder, 8% said their loan documents were only “partially factual”, and 1% of people had to suddenly leave the room.

However, the RC is not particularly interested in twisting the knife into the public, as the cleaver they swing is at the neck of banking officers who falsify loans to see them pass. According to Michael Janda of the ABC:

“The first case study listed is NAB’s introducer program, where third parties such as accountants and solicitors received commissions for referring loan customers to the bank.

NAB sacked 20 staff last year and disciplined more than 30 others, the scandal affected at least 2,300 loans, which is not small change when the average new mortgage is around $400,000.”

What we seemingly have beyond the macro search for inaccuracies is hard to tell. Beyond the firing of many people we don’t know, one can assume that the process will be tightened up. However, and this is IMO, but perhaps, and I realise the RC is looking to reduce needless debt, not allowing loans for those not in a position to afford it, but the world of personal finance is a whirling dervish. While the consumer is probably best off waiting until they truly can, perhaps then the opportunity would have stopped knocking.

There’s plenty of grey in the black and white of the statement the RC will shortly make.

Just saying.