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#AusPol winners and losers: Who kept nepotism hot?

A plum job, an empire razed to the ground and some blue steel (workers) made up this week in #AusPol. Who won? No-one, dingus.




Every Friday, your trusty commentators at The Big Smoke review the most lauded plays in the game of Australian politics from the week previous. Passionate? Unquestionably. Conniving? Undoubtedly. But it’s not about that. Headlines need to be made and an audience needs to be entertained.

So, who won?



Nepotism, for remaining relevant.

It’s been a rather big couple of months for nepotism. Riding on the sweaty back of Barnaby Joyce, suddenly that very vintage, very macro trend was on top again. Sadly, now that Barnaby has switched positions, there was a danger that it would be returned to the drawer.

Fortunately, this week, commissioner of the Australian Border Force resolutely threw nepotism on his rippling shoulders as Roman Quaedvlieg was found guilty of getting his girlfriend a job.




Welcome back, Nepotism. You’re our favourite. Here, go buy yourself some money.


The Filing Cabinet leak, for remaining stationary.

Unlike the above example, this is how not to keep yourself in the public eye. Back in the morning of 2018, Australia was equal parts, piqued, shocked and embarrassed to discover that a series of politically sensitive documents were inadvertently sold by a second-hand furniture dealer.

Anyway, we were all moderately conscious for that. The ABC copped flak, many argued about it, some people waved their belief in a false flag operation, we all moved on.

However, this week, it happened again. And despite the same thing happening, our reaction is quite different.



Why? Because it’s been doneIt’s no longer fresh.

Do a backflip.



Also on The Big Smoke



Margaret Osborne, for having her water view sullied.

It’s been a particularly rough week to be a Margaret Osborne. Not only has she been personally wounded in the heart parts by Bill Shorten’s taxing class war, but she also made the paper, replete with her disappointment immortalised in her favourite summer blouse.



To be fair, it’s a tableau equal to Whistler’s Mother, if she happened to drive an Audi.




Julia Gillard, for still copping dat hate.

Come on dudes, enough. The negative rhetoric toward J-Gilly has been storied, and up to this week, you’d naturally assume that the genre was ancient history, you know, because she’s no longer PM, and that.

But alas, ‘fraid not.




Also on The Big Smoke


Honourable mentions

The Golden Emerson – awarded to those who waste everyone’s time with complete verbal tosh – goes to:

Who else, but Donny T.



Lol. Unless Twitter and the aforesaid Steelworker took Don’s meaning wrong. In that Don knew that the worker’s Dad was alive, but also knew that however hard the worker might work, it’d never measure up against the hard work that his Dad has already completed, years before.

In that instance, he’s literally looking down on the Steelworker, with disgust, but also proud that his son didn’t eclipse him, and marginalise his place at the dinner table.



The Secret Verbs and Spicers for the sauciest, most regret-inducing piece of fried hyperbole each week goes to: This, all the way this.




What kind of murderer uses the more pleasant swearword alternatives?