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While you were asleep: Trump’s latest affair, Cambridge Analytica suspends CEO, Federer served important question

Wow. What a morning. One model is suing over the coverage of her Trump affair, Cambridge Analytica lost their CEO and Roger Federer aced them all by answering an important question.

 

 

Playboy model sues after having her affair with Donald kept quiet.

Is there anything more American than a sitting President kneeling in front of a woman when the wife sleeps at home? Sadly/gladly in 2018, the answer is no. It seems yet another of Donald’s golf tournaments ended in a hole in one (or two), with the second party in question now suing a publication for keeping the details of the affair quiet. Which, and many golf puns here, but it puts Donald in a rather rough spot, one where he’d have to wedge himself out of yet more (completely legitimate backlash), one where he’d probably take a mulligan if he could.

 

 

Or, maybe not. Maybe he doesn’t actually like golf, and the entirety of the time he takes off from the job to play golf is really spent on the job. What a flocking albatross.

 

Cambridge Analytica suspends CEO after reports of, well pretty much everything.

And it all came tumbling down. Cambridge Analytica, otherwise known as the company who sold your Facebook soul to the devil is now stalking the halls of its office, swinging the rusty cleaver of independent investigation, sending CEO Alexander Nix home to think about what he’s done.

 

 

I mean, what a clusterfudge.

 

 

Wait. Does this mean the entirety of the Russkies rigging the election might have some truth to it? Hooley/Dooley.

 

Dad asks tennis jesus extremely important question. Breaks internet. Sure why not.

Sometimes, and I mean all the time, I often think that we’re not using the Internet correctly. The gift of infinite information and the ease of connection with the people we admire is wasted on us.

Overnight, a rather important discussion unearthed itself online, as someone’s dad pressed tennis demigod Roger Federer for answers…primarily if he believes that tennis balls are actually green or really yellow. Move over, Cicero.

 

 

To be honest, I didn’t make it to the end of the video, as the highed-twanged Americanan timbre that yelled “Hey, Rogeerrr” added a substantial amount of cold water to my life-boner. So are they green or yellow or what?

Roggeerr?

 

 

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