TBS Learns To Love

Facebook proves love is a battlefield, enters dating game

In a rather bold move, Facebook has decided to enter the world of online dating. Maybe they can succeed where everyone else has failed.



It seems that Mark Zuckerberg is clearly not sated in getting inside your head, he now also wants to get inside your pants.

Yes, it seems that our Californian overlords are entering the bloated, saturated, wheezing sweatbox that is the dating world, as Facebook will use all their power to find someone who loves you the way they do.

Which, when you think about it, Facebook doing this makes complete sense. In an ideal world, the person who you enlist to hook you up knows you extremely well, usually a best friend. Facebook is certainly that. And yes, it might have shared your secrets with a third party, annually reminds you of moments you’d rather forget, but it has always been there. Especially in that phase when duckfacing and grating status updates were your life.

So, how does it work? Well, details are skint at the time being, but a few features of the beast have been released.

We know it will be free, and minus the presence of ads, which is nice, and proves that all Facebook wants is to see you happy. It’s not about the money, or the ball and (block)chain. It’s about love. Internet love, the best of all possible loves.

As for how it will integrate into the existing system, well it will require those interested to create a new, separate dating profile. You will access it through your existing Facebook profile, but your romantic quarry will see your special dating profile instead of your standard one. According to the grumbles, Facebook doesn’t plan to make this a separate app, yet.

So, yes. What it seems like is another of Facebook’s wobbly tentacle smashing through the front window of another industry it will eventually strangle.

With 2.2 billion people using Facebook’s every month, you wonder how Tinder with its 50 million users/douchecanoes, can survive. The move also introduces other issues, given that many dating apps have relied on Facebook for their marketing strategies. But, I guess, who cares. Facebook in its original form was a way to anonymous rate and harass strangers you’d like to bang, so maybe this is just it retaking its worthy spot atop the tree.

The other dating app, Bumble, said it was “thrilled” at the news, but some suspect it was muffled, as the warm was fired through grit teeth.