TBS Newsbot

While you were asleep: Bancroft banished to Darwin, Liberty shut down over liberty, House of Cards tumbles

Morning! Overnight, Cameron Bancroft subjected himself to torture for our benefit, the Statue of Liberty was harmed by democracy and the House of Cards still stands. Who knew?



As penance, Cameron Bancroft travels to Darwin to prove he’s changed. Forgive him, Australia, please.

Poor Cameron Bancroft. The least experienced member of the ball tampering trio that was banished to the moral underworld, a place of acidic column inches, clicked tongues and shaken heads. He’s been through quite a bit. It would probably not be remiss to say that he’s probably suffered the most. While Steve Smith and Dave Warner fell from a greater height, you could argue that they got the chance to savour the grapes from the highest branch. Not Bancroft.

Sadly, Banners has to suffer yet another laborious quest we’ve set him, as he’s now been banished to Darwin to anonymously reassemble his career.

For what it’s worth, I think we should take him back. He’s apologised, he’s making amends. But no-one in their right mind should have to experience the tropic nonsense of a place that held up 1980s Australia as the high point of human existence. He’s just a kid, he’s not some 47 year old who has burned every bridge on the way to tumbling down the trapdoor of society. Did you know you can be as unlicensed, inexperienced and as drunk as you like, and you can still legally pilot a boat on heavily crocodiled waters?

Come back, Cameron. All is forgiven.



Statue of Liberty evacuated after a piece of cloth with letters on it was unfurled.

If there’s a couple of things to be learned about the Americans from the following story, its that they scare easily, and they have great powers of organisation. This morning, one citizen attempted to climb the Statue of Liberty to hang a banner of liberty, calling the end of ICE’s fuckery, Trump’s much-derided Immigration and Customs Enforcement stormtroop.



The island was evacuated for safety reasons, which sadly makes New York less a place of stoic curbside fist shaking and rhetoric groin grabbing that it was, and more the nervous fleeing mass that it now is. Which is sad, it’s disappointing to see its pretty face ruined with worry lines.

Nevertheless, the demonstrators (who have now been arrested) proudly had their moment, one that took great organisation to enable. I mean, I can assume these people have jobs (as their t-shirts look legit) but today is a Wednesday in the United States. Sure, they might have wasted police time and scared everyone and et cetera, but credit must go to those 11 people who managed to wrangle a sick day on the same day. Heroes, all.



It’s important, as they clearly painted themselves into a corner with the whole t-shirt gimmick. One changed shift could have ruined the whole thing. My heart goes out to the person who turned up, but was not awarded a letter, but a black t-shirt. It’s not a blank space, guys, it’s just a t-shirt.



House of Cards drops teaser to remind the world they still exist.

Speaking of that problematic place, the funhouse mirror of their politics, House of Cards, has released a rather timely teaser trailer to celebrate the day of their independence.



Sadly for Claire Underwood, Robin Wright and the rest of us, House of Cards was killed by the actions of two Presidents. One they created that killed the show, and the other killed the reason for the show existing in the first place. We no longer have a stomach for serious political commentary featuring random sex, murder and monologuing. We have Twitter.

We can blame Spacey, and probably a bit of us, in that we removed him from the throne, then stopped watching, but responsibility must go to Donald also, as he’s proved that politics is stupid, and any serious commentary on it is akin to the Ivory League interviewing the urban legends of hip-hop.



It’s not that it doesn’t have merit, it’s just that we don’t care.