Danish psychologists believe that they can accurately quantify how evil you are. To prove it, they’ve created a test we can all take. Do it. Don’t be chicken.
Fundamentally we’re bastards, and thus, we do bastardly things. We’re a well-meaning, but ill-doing force of desires, wants and needs. Try as we might to improve, we invariably kneel to the more destructive parts of our psyche. Psychologists call it the dark triad: the big three of our mistakes – psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. But to be fair, those three represent the tip of a fairly cold, albeit welcoming iceberg. Shout out to my boys egoism, sadism, spitefulness, and actioned schadenfreude. Rep.
However, according to new research, there is a force that controls them all. Simply named “D”, psychologists from Denmark have attempted to articulate the beast, and as a result, are able to offer a number defining how evil you are.
The framework of the D has its foundation in what’s known as the g factor. A theory that believes those who performed well on one kind of cognitive test were more likely to score well on similar tests. Think of it as a factor of general intelligence.
“In the same way, the dark aspects of human personality also have a common denominator, which means that – similar to intelligence – one can say that they are all an expression of the same dispositional tendency,” explains psychologist Ingo Zettler from the University of Copenhagen in Denmark.
Measuring 2,500 participants, the study asked participants to disagree with a wave of ‘dark’ statements, such as: “I know that I am special because everyone keeps telling me so”, “I’ll say anything to get what I want”, “It is hard to get ahead without cutting corners here and there”, and “Hurting people would be exciting.”
As a result, they believe that they can accurately chart how damaging the average person is. In fact, they were good enough to set up an online questionnaire so the most bold/foolhardy can ascertain the expanse of their fuckery.
Morbid curiosity aside, the researchers believe that their tool can be used to re-assess how we think about the malevolent behaviours of the darker angels of our nature.
“We see it, for example, in cases of extreme violence, or rule-breaking, lying, and deception in the corporate or public sectors…here, knowledge about a person’s D-factor may be a useful tool, for example, to assess the likelihood that the person will re-offend or engage in more harmful behaviour,” Zettler says.
I mean, that’s all well and good, but are you taking the test, or what?
Double dare you.
Muaha ha ha.