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This chart explains how the UK can kill off Brexit scot-free (or sink their parliament)

Last night, the European Court of Justice allowed the UK to kill off Brexit without penalty. Disappointingly, Theresa May’s titanic deck chair shuffling may see that deal expire.

 

 

Ding dong, the Brexit’s dead. Sort of. With the European Court of Justice bailing the UK out of her obligations, stating that the UK “is free to revoke unilaterally the notification of its intention to withdraw from the EU”, setting a deadline for March 29. Killing it seems to be what the people would very much like, especially within the oak and leather wealth hole that is Westminster, where the politicians of Britain are yelling a lot and calling for Theresa’s head on a pike, as she’s gone and done this:

 

 

Despite this, May is still pitching three options: a) her deal (which no-one wants), b) no Brexit deal (which no-one really really wants) or c) calling off the Brexit and remaining in the EU. The last one is a pickle for the egoist, as it would technically make the moronic 2016 referendum obsolete, and thusly throwing the democratic process off the cliffs of Dover. Although, you could easily muse that it was the people that allowed them to be in this position, which makes the fourth option, a second Brexit referendum another (albeit extremely stupid) option.

Ignore the people, or let the people vote again on the assumption that they’ll get it right this time.

Right.

Nevertheless, the UK parliament is set to vote on May’s Brexit deal, which despite the above, will need to happen. Any deal between LDN and the EU has to be approved by the European Parliament and ratified into law. Consider it the video game boss fight tree. May fighting the UK parliament before the EU one is the sub-boss on the way to the big one. If May is unable to convince both parliaments that her deal is rad before the March deadline, then the UK may well dip to the worst of scenarios, leaving the EU sans a deal.

Womp womp.

If the vote doesn’t go May’s way, it could result in a full-blown constitutional crisis. I’m no expert on British constitutional law, but perhaps the appearance of Guy Fawkes and his wheelbarrow of explosives might be the preferred route. If he doesn’t turn up, consider this extremely complex flowchart as their way through the mucky muck:

 

 

Some of the outcomes could well be that:

  1. Theresa May tries to renegotiate parts of the deal—which the EU says is impossible—and brings it back to parliament for a vote within 21 days.
  2. They go the Australian route, ousting May and replacing her with another Conservative MP, who would have a small window to renegotiate a deal (see number 1).
  3. The UK leaves the EU without a deal.
  4. The opposition gains the support of enough fed-up members of the majority to force a snap general election.
  5. A second referendum is held, although what voters would decide on—Deal or no deal? Deal, no deal, or no Brexit?—is not clear.

So, and as is the entirety of this cockwaffle, the easy is hard – and the simple is complex. I vote you just settle it with a drag race, or paper, scissors, rock against the EU. We’re so close to farce, it seems logical.

 

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