It’s a fairly notable week in the realm of Fake News, as Donald is buying is friends and pirates are sailing the high internet seas under the Facebook banner.
Fake News is very much that the family house you grew up in, the one that’s now a petrol station. The one with ghosts, spiders and Donald Trump in it.
Welcome to our usual dance around objective truth, as we attempt to find meaning in the lies of the internet. This week, it’s Coconut Oil and a lying, pants-less bear.
Fake News is that person that uses the urinal next to you when the bathroom is deserted. That guy. This week, we investigate the relationship between Donald and Aretha and other clickbait nonsense.
Fake News is much like bacon sizzling in a pan. Except there’s no pan, and the bacon is made of lies, and you’ve got gastroenteritis. You know?
It’s a particularly private analysis of Fake News this week, as we examine your intelligence, your lifespan and the size of your breasts. Sorry.
Fake News is a strange beast. It should be studied, then erased from the Earth. This week, Buzz Aldrin confirmed a long-running conspiracy…to a child.
Fake News, you are an odd fellow, but you steam a good ham. This week we attempt to find truth in the Queen’s wardrobe, the American penal system and a chemical warehouse in the Urals. Fun, fun.
Fake News. Why always you. This week we find out if there’s any truth to the Forrest Gump 2 trailer, if cars in Arizona actually melted and why Akon made himself a target for the CIA.
Fake News. Why you always lying? This week, we fact-check Kurt Cobain’s Trump warning, the fake that sued the original and the origins of a rather toxic book.
Fake News. I don’t like the way you’re looking at me. This week, we chase the truth of a thrown tennis ball, a culinary sensitivity and the rattlesnakes taking the best spots at the pool.
Fake News, you don’t make a lick of sense. This week we investigate the paranoia of rice that bounces, the pizza pie wedding bouquet and the benefits of hot dog water.
Fake News is very much like the battery we’re told not to put our tongue on. You know what happens next.
Fake News. You are stupid and I don’t like you and you smell. There’s a distinctly childish tone this week, headlined by outlawed lemonade. Tasty.
Fake News, the boulevard of broken links. This week, a deliveryman delivered street justice, Melania Trump asked Twitter to save her, and coconut water became the lifeblood of us all.
As Jean Baudrillard once said, fake news has no point, but it does have great teeth. He was actually talking about something else, but close enough.
I love the way you lie internet. This week, some dachshunds killed a woman, a woman married a squid and a man didn’t hit the lotto…but imagine if he did.
Fake News is much like an unenthusiastic handjob. We all pretend that we’re enjoying it, and that it feels good, but maybe we should just watch tv instead. I’m tired.
The Internet is much like the communal shelf in the fridge of a share house. It’s well stocked, but no-one dares digest the foulness within.
Don’t believe everything you read on the Internet. Especially the theories that Facebook will charge their users, Donald helped Ivanka and that fluoride is evil. Actually, believe one of those.
I fear we’re drowning in a neck of Fake News paranoia this week, as Facebook can either be torn down by millennialese, or they’re cutting you a cheque. That and the Department of Homeland Security are doing far worse. Welcome.
I love the smell of falsehoods in the morning. Welcome to another rancid, steaming serve of Fake News. Just wash your hands afterwards. With Bleach.